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Today Is The Day We Get Back Every Rupee That We Lose On American Football This Year, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. This year we take bigger beating than Kevin Costner movie at box office, my friend. But even though there is only one more American football game to bet on this year, bro, there are plenty of plays to make today that will make up for everything that you and I lose on the season. And if you make the right bets, my friend, maybe you will be able to get your house back, boss. To help make that happen, I have again turned to cousin Gokul and his baby arm to give best possible guess at what will happen today, bro.

Go Bara Like This Melissa McCarthy Elephant Or Go To Home This Weekend, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Listen, bro. I check out this movie Identity Thief on the HBO last night, and I have to say that this Melissa McCarthy has to be funniest fat woman I have ever seen, my friend. But she would not be welcome back in Howrah, bro. There would just be too many fear that she would eat entire winter supply of goat meat, and there is no way that rickshaw driver could transport her without destroying of back. She is what we call bara (big) in my country, and that is exactly what you have to be when you are betting on the AFC and NFC Championship Game, bro.

Time To Just Flip A Fucking Coin, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh The Intern

I’m telling you, bro. This American football season has ripped apart my anus something fierce, like this new Fiery Doritos Locos taco, my friend. But never fear, bro. Rakesh has solution to save the anus. Since my picks have been hitting at less than fifty percent, I will just flip coin this week. And not one of these American pennies that is worth less than my Uncle Omkar’s toenail clippings, but I will instead be flipping a special two-Rupee coin with Louis Braille on the front, bro. He could probably see picks better than me, and the dude was fucking blind, bro. That will be heads, my friend. Back of coin has the number two and fancy purse dog. Must be reminder that this is the part of Asia that doesn’t eat them, bro. Anyway, that will be tails.

Since Rakesh Is Colder Than Witch’s Boob, It’s Time To Give Cousin Gokul A Call For Help, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh The Intern

I’m telling you, bro. I haven’t been this cold betting on American football since, well, let’s not beat around my big bush, my friend. It has been tough fucking year, bro. So, one of the best week we have this year was when I call cousin Gokul. He has baby left arm and not many girlies in Howrah find that kind of deformity sexy, my friend. Sad shit, bro. But what this guy lack in his left arm, he make up for with big brain. When it comes to shooting bucket ball or whatever you call it in this country, Gokul is shit from pig. But if you need crunching of number and big win in illegal sport gambling, then Gokul is man among little boy, bro.

Final Chance To Win $50 In Our NFL Pick ‘Em, Bro

money bitch

by Rakesh The Intern

I’m telling you, bro. The new year is right around corner, and this is your last chance to win fifty dollar from my boss by picking professional American football games, my friend. I am hoping to win, as I just found post on this list of Craig for American hooker who said she will only charge fifty dollar for rim job on New Year’s Eve. Oh baby, bro.

New Year Is New Chance To Throw One In Bookie’s Anus, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh The Intern

Check it out, bro. Just because it is holiday time and this Santa Kringle or whatever you call him in this country is telling you to be nice and shit, now is not the time to take it easy on bookie, my friend. Between this silly college bowl system and last weekend of professional American football, there are plenty of chances to throw one into your bookie’s anus, kind of like the way Washington State threw one in mine last week, boss. And I’m telling you, bro, if your bookie has been hitting the eggnog as hard as Rakesh, then it’s safe to say his anus has been working overtime, bro.

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