Tag Archives: olympics

An Oldie But A Goodie

suzy favor hamilton

by Tommy Gimler

Hey, you hookers. We’re out raising money for the Wounded Warrior Project tonight, so we don’t have time to write an in-depth story filled with humor and Taylor Swift shots. But good Christ, she is terrible. But nothing says Saturday night like an American athlete gone prostitute, and here is a dandy from last December about Wisconsin Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton being a hooker. Boom…

Suzy Favor Hamilton Turning Tricks As Las Vegas/Traveling Hooker

suzy favor hamilton

by Tommy Gimler

Suzy Favor Hamilton was a three-time Olympic middle distance runner, record holder in the 800m and 1500m at the NCAA Championships, NCAA Woman of the Year, USA Track and Field Distance Runner of the Year in 2000, and according to The Smoking Gun, also a Las Vegas and traveling escort. In the words of Bill Murray (Ken Bowden) in Wild Things, oops Suzy.

Olympic Golden Moments

elbow2

by Tommy Gimler

SPOILER ALERT: This article is about the Olympics.

I’m pretty sure we’ve established that watching the Olympics is about at painful as shoving a screwdriver up your peehole. And not a Phillips head, either.

Our First Olympics Hate Mail

olympics

by Tommy Gimler

From Elaina in Sausalito, CA:

Are you out of your fucking mind? You hate the Olympics? Who says that?

The Olympics: Just As Much Fun As Hooking Up With Your Dead Fish Ex-Girlfriend

shot put

by Corby Legault

Did we all forget that the Olympics suck?

Now I’ll Watch The Olympics

Leryn Franco

by Tommy Gimler

Nobody watches the Olympics because they love the discus.

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