Tag Archives: mlb

MLB Warns All Players To Stop Buying Their Boner Pills At Gas Stations

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by Tommy Gimler

I’ll be honest. Wawa makes a hell of a sandwich, but odds are if you’re looking for the safest way to still get blood lumber in bed with your wife 13 years and 62 pounds later, you’re going to want to shop elsewhere.

Here Are The Top 5 MLB Players Weekend Jersey Names You’ll See This Year

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by Tommy Gimler

And congrats to Zack Greinke for having zero fun by going with “Greinke” and once again winning the award for the biggest bug up his ass.

The DUD Hands Out Their MLB First Half Awards

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by Tommy Gimler

Try finding another site who’s dishing out the “Kate Upton’s Yams” award.

The Argument For And Against Major League Baseball Reinstating Pete Rose

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by Tommy Gimler

MLB commissioner Rob Manfred couldn’t give two fucks that Pete Rose is his sport’s all-time hit leader.

What If MLB All-Star Game Starters Were Based Solely On WAR?

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by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. Using sabermetrics to determine how good MLB players are these days is almost as trendy as an East Coast frat house rape, and WAR (Wins Above Replacement) is usually deemed as the most useful of said metrics. So, we’re going to temporarily transform into Brian Fucking Kennys and use WAR to see who would be starting the All-Star Game if for some stupid reason that was the only stat that was used to determine them.

Andrew Rector Sues MLB & ESPN After Falling Asleep At A Game, Is A Big Pile Of Dog Shit

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by Frank Rhombus

If Andrew Rector’s fat ass thought the “verbal crusade” against him after he was caught by ESPN cameras napping at a Yankees-Red Sox game in April was unbearable, wait until he has someone read to him what’s being said after he filed what will likely be a dismissed lawsuit against MLB, ESPN, the New York Yankees, Dan Shulman, and John Kruk last Thursday.

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