Tag Archives: mike moustakas

The Brewers Just Got Absolutely Dicked By The Royals: A Mike Moustakas Story


by Tommy Gimler

Two months of a .250 hitter in exchange for a five-tool future stud and a Puerto Rican kid? Fuck me.

Turd Watch: Ike Davis Sent To Triple A Las Vegas

ike davis

by Tommy Gimler

New York Mets first baseman Ike Davis is going to Las Vegas but not to take bumps off of some floozy’s skin sacks. Although, if it would somehow help his swing, we’re sure he’s pretty much up for anything right now.

It’s Never Too Early To Drop These Fantasy Turds


by Tommy Gimler

Attention, fantasy dorks. It’s not like we’re as impatient as a dude at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch trying to get in a quick beej before they discover he’s using a stolen credit card. It’s just that some of these guys have gotten off to a Taylor Swift-esque start this year, and it’s chapping our asses something fierce. Sure, the baseball season might be only three weeks old, but odds are if you hang on to these turds too much longer, you’ll find your fake team spending more time in the cellar than the Miami Marlins.

Baseball’s Best Offensive Bargains

Mike Trout

by Tommy Gimler

Here’s something my Jewish readers will love: getting the biggest bang for your buck.

May Day


by Tommy Gimler

After one month of baseball, your fantasy team is in a tailspin. It’s time to cut ties with these fantasy turds.

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