Tag Archives: mets

It’s The Great American Holiday Known As Bobby Bonilla Day

bobby bonilla day

by Tommy Gimler

It’s July 1, and that means former MLB slugger Bobby Bonilla woke up this morning to a fresh $1,193,248.20 in his checking account courtesy of the New York Mets.

Can You Find The Big Black Dildo In This Picture The Mets Tweeted Friday Night?

mets dildo

by Tommy Gimler

If you thought Yoenis Cespedes swung a big stick, wait until you see this fucking thing.

If You Know How To Read, This Is Probably The Funniest NL East Preview You’ll See


by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the only thing more fucked up than how the Atlanta Braves dicked over the people and nearby businesses in Cumberland last year was Jose Fernandez behind the wheel of a boat.

Watch 50 Cent Throw A Baseball Like A Big Pussy


by Tommy Gimler

Rapper 50 Cent was asked to throw the ceremonial first pitch before yesterday’s Mets-Pirates game to promote his upcoming album release and concert at Citi Field next month. He shouldn’t have.

By Giving Chris Young $7.25 Million, The New York Mets Send A Message To Their Fans That They Are Indeed Ready To Suck Balls At Least One More Year

chris young sucks

by Tommy Gimler

We waited about 24 hours to see if anybody else wanted to jump all over the Mets front office for giving a career .235 hitter more than $7 million, but I guess we’re the only ones with the stones to do it.

This Not Just In: Ike Davis Fucking Blows

Ike Davis

by Tommy Gimler

Fuck smoking. The Surgeon General should release a statement warning parents about the dangers of letting their kids watch Ike Davis play baseball. The only thing preventing the New York Mets first baseman from striking out a fifth time Friday night against the Atlanta Braves was the game being suspended in the eighth inning because of rain, and that’s, well, that’s just pathetic.

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