Posts Tagged ‘matt holliday’

DUD MLB Preview: St. Louis Cardinals

Published by tgim on March 10th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

When Tony LaRussa was in charge of the St. Louis Cardinals, he would have his pitchers throw 96-MPH heaters into the backs of opposing hitters when his team was down 9-3 just for the fuck of it. With Mike Matheny at the helm, he wants to outlaw collisions at home plate. Therefore, we have established that Tony LaRussa was a hardcore badass and Mike Matheny is a big fucking pussy. But regardless of who is in charge of the Cardinals, St. Louis is a perennial contender on the diamond, so once again, you can’t count them out this year. (more…)


Breaking Down Tonight’s Game Seven

Published by tgim on October 22nd, 2012

by Tommy Gimler

Unlike most men, baseball doesn’t kill my erection. It induces one. And if there is a Game 7 involved, unless she’s holding a poster of Rosie O’Donnell scissoring Kathy Bates, let’s just say my wife should be ready when she gets home from work tonight… (more…)


Studs and DUDs of the Week

Published by tgim on August 6th, 2012

by Tommy Gimler

Ohio was a bipolar state last week as the Reds were amazing again and the Indians were just brutal. Oh, and Aroldis Chapman is a prick… (more…)


Red Hot

Published by tgim on August 5th, 2012

by Tommy Gimler

Most people don’t plan summer vacations to Cincinnati unless they’re looking to get stabbed or pick up chlamydia. (more…)


DUD MLB Preview: St. Louis Cardinals

Published by tgim on March 23rd, 2012

by Tommy Gimler

This video game convention I’m at is a lot like Major League Baseball. You have these John Goodman-esque, limburger-cheese smelling virgins who have never conquered anything in their lives. I call them the Chicago Cubs. Then you have your professionals, guys like the 11-time reigning champion of StarCraft. I call him the St. Louis Cardinals. (more…)