Tag Archives: mariners

These 3 Teams Should Seriously Think About Unloading Their Entire Roster At The MLB Trade Deadline

gross

by Tommy Gimler

Thankfully for some of these cities’ sports fans, the NFL season opener is just 37 days away.

This Play Pretty Much Sums Up How Bad The Seattle Mariners Are This Year

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by Tommy Gimler

Nobody home!

Here Is Exactly How Every American League Team Will Finish In 2018

king felix

by Tommy Gimler

As long as King Felix’s arm doesn’t fall off in June, we think the Mariners might be something this year.

DUD MLB Preview: AL West Projected Standings

angels

by Tommy Gimler

The Angels have really dicked us the last two years, but not as much as the injury bug has dicked the rest of the AL West this year. There isn’t enough coke in the world to bring Ron Washington’s pitching staff back to life, Oakland has lost two of their big arms for a while, and most of Seattle’s pitching staff was worthless even when they were healthy. And Houston, well, hahahaha. Houston…

Tuesday Afternoon Mailbag

adrian peterson foot injury

by Tommy Gimler

It’s been quite some time since we last checked our inbox, and let’s just say that puppy was almost as full as an honest priest’s seminal vesicles…

Literally, Here’s A Shitty Sunday Evening Story

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by Tommy Gimler

We can only imagine that it smelled like a cross between Roseanne Barr’s hump hole and Kirk Douglas’s diapers when the Mariners and Athletics made their way for the showers following the A’s 10-2 ass pounding at the Oakland Coliseum this afternoon only to find their locker rooms flooded with sewage and stank water.

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