Tag Archives: kings

Shoutout To The Sacramento Kings For Wishing Anthony Tolliver A Happy Birthday And Then Releasing Him

anthony tolliver

by Tommy Gimler

Happy birthday! Now drop your drawers so we can kick you in the dick.

Look At This Fucking Guy

sim bhullar

by Tommy Gimler

Our Indian intern Rakesh told us there were no NBA players of Indian descent before Sim Bhullar because guys in India spend all of their time playing cricket, billiards, and badminton. And even guys who grow to be as big as Bhullar usually become elephant handlers instead of basketball players.

NHL Playoffs Game Seven vs. A Game of Thrones Episode: The Sports Vs. Scripted TV Debate


by Teddy Westside

The Blackhawks just won a crucial Game 6 on the road in Los Angeles on Friday night in a game that was almost as wild as Gimler’s slut sister. Down 3-2, the Hawks came storming back to score twice to win the game and send the series back to Chicago for a righteous Game 7 on Sunday night.

Did The San Jose Sharks Complete One Of The Biggest Choke Jobs Ever?


by Teddy Westside

The Los Angeles Kings knocked off the San Jose Sharks 5-1 last night for a Game 7 win. If you saw that sentence out of context, you might think it was a good series and the better team just prevailed at the end. Handshakes happened and lets be on our merry. Oh, and you would be wrong.

Just Like A Sexy Porn Starlet Giving A Beej To Lexington Steele, The San Jose Sharks Are On The Verge Of An Epic Choke Job

kings sharks game 7

by Teddy Westside

We could literally see an epic (and you know me, I hate when people use the word epic) collapse by the San Jose Sharks tomorrow night. On April 22, they were up 3-0, but after last night’s shit show, they find themselves tied 3-3 with their bitter rivals: the Los Angeles Kings.

Kings Vs. Blackhawks: I Called It, You Hookers


by Teddy Westside

The Kings of Los Angeles put away the Sharks from San Jose away in seven games…which coincidentally is exactly what I predicted. Not only did I predict accurately the winning team, but the number of games in which they would win it…which means I am already better than half of the NFL prognosticators and certainly better than that turd Mel Kiper. Hey Mel, when you get ONE thing right, you let me know.

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