Tag Archives: derek jeter

DUD MLB Preview: New York Yankees

tanaka-getty

by Tommy Gimler

You’re almost as bat shit crazy as Amanda Bynes if you think the New York Yankees are going to miss the postseason for a second consecutive year. Yup, just like that herpes sore slightly to the left of your peehole, the Evil Empire is back, baby.

Playing Six Degrees of Separation With Derek Jeter’s Genital Herpes

derek jeter genital herpes

by Frank Rhombus

Q: Hey DUD. You called Derek Jeter the Kevin Bacon of genital herpes this week. How about playing a game of “Six Degrees of Separation” to prove it?

Harold in Pittsburgh, PA

The DUD: Sounds like almost as much fun as throwing darts at Jenny McCarthy. Let me get a sixer and get to it.

Derek Jeter, Yankees And Genital Herpes Captain, Will Retire After The 2014 Season

derek jeter yeah jeets

by Tommy Gimler

Sad news out of the baseball world today, as Derek Jeter, our favorite player and arguably the face of baseball and genital herpes rumors for the last nineteen years, announced via Facebook that the 2014 MLB season will be his last.

AskReddit Feed Says That Derek Jeter Likes To Say “Yeah Jeets” When He’s Getting A Beej

derek jeter yeah jeets

by Tommy Gimler

If you haven’t checked out the “Former Groupies of Reddit” feed yet at Reddit.com, then borrow the company iPad and go take a twenty-minute shitter break. It’s probably the funniest thing we’ve read since Mein Kampf.

The DUD Hands Out Their MLB Hardware

big papi

by Tommy Gimler

We’ll let Tim Kurkjian calculate who is this year’s National League MVP from his grandma’s basement. But if you’re looking for awards like “Player Who Took Down The Hottest Piece Of Trim,” then you’ve come to the right place.

Wednesday Afternoon Mailbag

derek jeter

by Tommy Gimler

Just one week into the NFL season, fantasy dorks are already panicking. And that is where we begin with this week’s mailbag.

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