Tag Archives: brewers

Breaking News: Ryan Braun Busted For PEDs Again

ryan braun

by Tommy Gimler

Ryan Braun’s name has been scratched from Ron Roenicke’s lineup card for tonight’s game against the Atlanta Braves, and a source inside the Milwaukee Brewers organization told The Daily Upper Decker that Braun has also been suspended for the rest of the 2014 season after testing positive for Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), a testicular hormone usually found in high concentrations of horse semen.

DUD MLB Preview: NL Central Projected Standings

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by Tommy Gimler

Quick. Without looking, name the three starting outfielders for the 2014 Chicago Cubs. Yeah, it’s that bad on the North Side.

Some Milwaukee Brewers Fans Are Apparently Growing Sick Of Hank The Dog

hank the dog

by Frank Rhombus

By now you’ve heard the story, even if you aren’t a Brewers fan. The Brew Crew arrived to their spring training facility at Maryvale Baseball Park, and they found a dog who had been hit by a car or some shit. They took him to a vet, named him Hank after the great Hank Aaron (and we bet Aaron’s thrilled about that), adopted him, and took turns nursing the little fucker back to health. He was then adopted by a Wisconsin family and blah, blah, blah. Who gives a shit? It’s just a goddamn dog.

You’re A Piece Of Shit, Ryan Braun

ryan braun

by Tommy Gimler

The Hebrew Hammer just got nailed.

The DUD MLB Midseason Report: NL Central

pittsburgh pirates

by Tommy Gimler

If you had Colorado’s Michael Cuddyer owning the season’s longest hitting streak at 27 games, you’re a fucking liar. Likewise, nobody pegged the Pittsburgh Pirates to own baseball’s best record on the final day of June. After 82 games, B.J.Upton is hitting just .177. On the opposite side of the spectrum, New York’s Matt Harvey leads the NL in ERA, WHIP, BAA, opponents OPS, and strikeouts.

Watch This Broad Get Smoked By A Foul Ball

sophia minnaert

by Tommy Gimler

Losers of 9 of their last 12 games and with a starting pitching staff sporting the worst ERA in the National League, it’s obvious that the Milwaukee Brewers have really been getting hit hard lately. But in Saturday’s 5-2 loss at Miller Park, it wasn’t just the Brewers’ hurlers who were getting lit up by the Pirates’ bats.

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