Tag Archives: astros

Great News For Degenerates: The First 2019 MLB Win Totals Are Out

altuve

by Tommy Gimler

84 wins for the Minnesota Twins? Well, it looks as though the crew at Caesars Entertainment is really taking advantage of legal herb in Nevada.

Just A Grown Man Punching Himself In The Face After Getting Pulled From A Baseball Game

ken giles fight club

by Tommy Gimler

It’s only a game, Focker.

Um, What If You Would Have Lost?

carlos correa proposal

by Tommy Gimler

And hell, what if she would have said no?

5 Bold Predictions For MLB’s Second Half

phillies-fan-taser

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s start with this: Houston’s George Springer will have the best season ever for a stutterer.

Hey, The Astros Won’t Lose 100 Games This Year

altuve carter

by Tommy Gimler

Maybe it’s because they’ve taken advantage of former Rangers manager Ron Washington concentrating more on doing lines off of an Arlington hooker than putting together the best possible makeshift lineup. Maybe it’s because their three-foot-six second baseman leads all of baseball in batting average and hits. But whatever the reason, the Houston Astros will lose less than 100 games in a season for the first time since 2010.

DUD MLB Preview: AL West Projected Standings

angels

by Tommy Gimler

The Angels have really dicked us the last two years, but not as much as the injury bug has dicked the rest of the AL West this year. There isn’t enough coke in the world to bring Ron Washington’s pitching staff back to life, Oakland has lost two of their big arms for a while, and most of Seattle’s pitching staff was worthless even when they were healthy. And Houston, well, hahahaha. Houston…

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