Posts Tagged ‘adam dunn’

Is Rickie Weeks The Worst Player In Major League Baseball?

Published by tgim on April 25th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Dear DUD,

Just as I was ready to write this season off, the Milwaukee Brewers rattled off nine wins in a row to climb above .500. While I should be excited about what’s happening, I can’t help but be disgusted with what I see from Rickie Weeks again this year. He has to be on pace for over 200 strikeouts, and my kid’s weight is higher than his batting average again. In your opinion, do you think Weeks is the worst player in baseball, or am I biased because I’m a Brewers fan? Thanks. Love the site. (more…)

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Posted in Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, NL Central
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It’s Never Too Early To Drop These Fantasy Turds

Published by tgim on April 21st, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Attention, fantasy dorks. It’s not like we’re as impatient as a dude at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch trying to get in a quick beej before they discover he’s using a stolen credit card. It’s just that some of these guys have gotten off to a Taylor Swift-esque start this year, and it’s chapping our asses something fierce. Sure, the baseball season might be only three weeks old, but odds are if you hang on to these turds too much longer, you’ll find your fake team spending more time in the cellar than the Miami Marlins. (more…)

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Posted in MLB
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DUD MLB Preview: The AL Central

Published by tgim on March 30th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Even my grandma knows that the Tigers are going to win the AL Central, and she’s been dead for eight years. But for the first time in decades, the Kansas City Royals have a roster made up of talent. And the Indians gave more money to Nick Swisher and Michael Bourn than what the entire city of Cleveland is worth. And the White Sox again have a solid pitching staff. And the Twins, well, good Christ. Not even Ron Gardenhire can manage this team of nobodies out of Pig Shit City… (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers, Kansas City Royals, Minnesota Twins, MLB
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DUD MLB Preview: Chicago White Sox

Published by tgim on March 25th, 2013

special to The DUD from Mandatory’s Gary Dudak

A cautious offseason by the White Sox front office has resulted in very pessimistic Gary Dudak, but that’s fine. In 2011, I was very optimistic and the Sox shit the bed (Adam Dunn shit the whole house). Last year, I was negative about our chances and we finished with a winning record, exceeding expectations (and Adam Dunn got a fresh pair of drawers, winning Comeback Player of the Year honors). So with all that in mind, here’s the most objective season preview I can give you for my beloved Chicago White Sox. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, Chicago White Sox, MLB
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Which Number Will Be Greater, Mike Trout Stolen Bases Or Houston Astros Victories, And Other MLB Prop Bets For Your Ass

Published by tgim on February 11th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler and Jeffrey Leinenkugel

With pitchers and catchers for every MLB team set to report to Spring Training by tomorrow at the latest, we can finally stop talking about annoying offseason stories like tainted piss consultants, Mark Grace’s drinking problem, and the size of Scott Boras’s plums and instead focus on what is important like how pig shit awful the Houston Astros and Miami Marlins are going to be. And to do that, The DUD has come up with these entertaining prop bets to get you back in the mood for the game that is still more American than a school shooting. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, LA Angels of Anaheim, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals
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Studs and DUDs of the Week

Published by tgim on August 20th, 2012

by Tommy Gimler

The Astros are the worst organization is professional sports, the Angels are only 4 games out of the AL West cellar, and while Ryan Dempster misplaced his passport, he still wasn’t as much of a dipshit as Melky Cabrera… (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, NL Central, NL East, Pittsburgh Pirates, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Washington Nationals
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