Betting On Football Is Easier Than My Ex-Girlfriend Akansh, And She Was Biggest Slut In Howrah, Bro

by Rakesh the Intern What did I tell you last week, bro? Why make money washing your grandpa’s nut sack when you can sit home with cigar and hooker poon while winning Rupee betting on American football. And if you thought last weekend was easy, wait until you see this More »

Jonathan Dwyer Getting Arrested For Domestic Abuse Means You’re Probably Abusing The Shit Out Of Your Opponents In Your Athletes Getting Arrested Fantasy League

by Frank Rhombus I believe it was Harry Dunne who uttered the phrase “Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally dick yourself out of a career in professional football.” More »

Jameis Winston Suspended For First Half Of Clemson Game After Repeatedly Yelling ‘Fuck Her Right In The Pussy’ On Campus

by Frank Rhombus Let’s be honest: Jameis Winston is a hell of an athlete, but he is a goddamn idiot. More »

10 Things We Know After Week 2 Of The NFL

by Tommy Gimler If fantasy dorks who “own” Jamaal Charles aren’t shitting themselves yet, they either need to ease up on their cheese intake or must be suffering from severe constipation… More »

The Big Ten Is Fucking Garbage

by Tommy Gimler The first ever College Football Playoff (CFP) will take place this January, and I have a better chance of fingering Joan Rivers than the Big Ten does at getting a team into this thing. More »

 

Switching, Public Privacy and Tin Foil

adrian peterson

by Teddy Westside

This whole Adrian Peterson thing has me fucking fired up. Let me first start out by saying I do not condone child ABUSE, but if a father needs to discipline a kid by hitting him once or twice, I certainly am not going to tell him no.

When Is Someone Going To Beat Some Sense Into Janay Rice?

ray and janay rice

by Eddie Bagelstein

It’s time somebody told the truth about this whole Ray Rice wife beating situation. Bitch got what she deserved.

Stop Washing Grandpa’s Nut Sack For Money And Hop On Rakesh’s Football Betting Train, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

This is very important week of betting on American football, bro. Every team has now taken field and we have pretty good idea of what they are each going to be about now, my friend. It’s just like cousin Gokul and billiards. You know what you’re going to get there. He sucks ass, bro. But that is because he has a baby left arm. However, he is not so bad at badminton because you only need one good arm, boss.

People Are Still Wearing Ray Rice Jerseys To Tonight’s Game

ray rice jersey

by Frank Rhombus

And we’re pretty sure that they’re not part of the Westboro Baptist Church.

Adam Feuerberg’s Weekly Report On Two Teams Nobody Else Gives A Shit About

romo blows

by Adam Feuerberg

I love writing about football. Good or bad, there’s always a story to tell, especially within the first few games of the year.

Hey, The Astros Won’t Lose 100 Games This Year

altuve carter

by Tommy Gimler

Maybe it’s because they’ve taken advantage of former Rangers manager Ron Washington concentrating more on doing lines off of an Arlington hooker than putting together the best possible makeshift lineup. Maybe it’s because their three-foot-six second baseman leads all of baseball in batting average and hits. But whatever the reason, the Houston Astros will lose less than 100 games in a season for the first time since 2010.

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