Did You Hear The One About The Deaf Family Who Ran Over An Old Woman At The Comic Con Zombie Walk?

by Frank Rhombus Comic Con in San Diego is pretty much the Super Bowl for dorks. Since 1970, comic book nerds have done the unthinkable and walked up the stairs from their parents’ basement, paid for transportation to Southern California, dressed like their favorite comic book hero or villain, and purchased More »

Geno Smith Thinks He’ll Be A Top 5 Quarterback Soon

by Tommy Gimler Shit, he might not even be a top five quarterback on the Jets. More »

Ruben Amaro’s Fake Gmail Account Is Shit Your Pants Awesome

by Tommy Gimler When Jayson Werth leaves a message entitled “$126 MILLION AND IN FIRST PLACE – BLOW ME,” you’ve got our attention. More »

Check Out How Pathetic The Line For Single Game Minnesota Vikings Tickets Was

by Tommy Gimler Whether the starting quarterback of this year’s Minnesota Vikings squad is Teddy Bridgewater, Matt Cassel, or turd Christian Ponder, it looks as though nobody in Minnesota gives a shit. More »

Jack White Is Probably The Scariest Looking Baseball Fan Of All-Time

by Tommy Gimler Maybe if he wasn’t following such a dog shit team like the Cubs, Jack White would be just a tad on the happier side. More »

 

Johnny Football Has The NFL’s #1 Selling Jersey

Johnny+Manziel+Cleveland+Browns+Introduce+lgYaYhVwb3Gl

by Tommy Gimler

But before Cleveland fans celebrate by injecting each other with heroin tonight, we should remind you that Tim Tebow once held that honor as well.

Apparently Howard Stern’s Ass Brought Down Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17

Howard Stern's Ass Brings Down Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17

by Frank Rhombus

Wow. If you spent the last three years racking up miles to become an Enrich Platinum member on Malaysia Airlines, you might want to start finding out if you can transfer those miles to an airline whose planes actually land.

Breaking Down Just How Pig Shit Awful Dan Uggla Really Was

dan uggla

by Tommy Gimler

Despite his Lou Ferrigno biceps and Cee-Lo Green neck, Dan Uggla was released by the Atlanta Braves yesterday, meaning Uggla is going to make almost $20 million through the end of the 2015 season for doing absolutely nothing. Then again, that pretty much sums up what he’s been doing since 2012.

You Should Take The Under For Every NFC East Team’s Win Total This Year

nick foles

special to The DUD from Sean Green

As a die-hard Eagles fan, the NFC East is the division I know best and the one I need to research the least when handicapping win totals. Granted my research process is just getting drunk on whiskey, watching YouTube videos, and blasting the NFL Primetime theme song until my girlfriend freaks out, but still, it’s a process. – Odds Courtesy of Bovada.

Maybe This Is Also Why The Texas Rangers Suck

derek holland

by Tommy Gimler

We’ve said before that the injury bug hit the Texas Rangers harder this year than an eight-year-old Chinese kid who fucked up a pair of sneakers. But after reading what Derek Holland told a Dallas radio station yesterday, maybe there’s another reason why the Rangers’ 2014 season can be classified as pure dog shit.

Just Another Reason Why Catching A Home Run Ball Isn’t That Important

giancarlo stanton home run hand

by Tommy Gimler

Believe it or not, this guy did not just get done fingering Grimace.

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