What The Hell? Let’s Also Take A Look At The NFC Punters And Kickers

by Dave “The Voice of No Reason” Iacch Here’s a picture of Mason Crosby. It’s funny because he’s not part of this preview. More »

Probably The Only AFC Punter and Kicker Preview You’ll Ever See

by Dave “The Voice of No Reason” Iacch These guys put the “foot” in football! More »

Terrifying One-Eyed Seahawks Fan Gets Best Anniversary Present Ever

by Eddie Bagelstein “It’d be cool to have a Seahawks logo right there in my eye.” More »

John Rocker’s Back, And Boy Have We Missed Him

by Eddie Bagelstein With the recent news that John Rocker, the former Braves racist (still a racist, no longer a Brave one though) signed with… More »

American Football is Back And It’s Time Again To Make Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

by Rakesh the Intern Check it out, bro. Last year was a pretty shit from pig kind of year for Rakesh betting on this silly game of American football, my friend. Luckily, I was only betting with Rupee, so it was like I lose just 43 cents, bro. More »


Nobody Wants To Play For The Raiders? More Like Nobody Wants To Answer Your Stupid Fucking Poll, ESPN

mark davis

by Frank Rhombus

The four-letter reported yesterday that “the Raiders are the least desirable team to play for in the NFL,” but their conclusion was based solely on a recent poll they administered to more than one hundred current NFL players, in which they asked “The only way I’d play for [team name] is if they doubled my salary.”

Is There Anything Worse Than A Grown Man Who Can’t Read?

50 cent floyd mayweather can't read

by Tommy Gimler

The answer, of course, is yes. Hundreds of things, actually. Nuclear war, getting teabagged by your grandpa, and syphilis are just a few things that quickly come to mind. Still, Floyd Mayweather having a reading level that falls somewhere between Dexter Manley and a six-year-old kid with Downs is pretty fucking pathetic, almost as pathetic as 50 Cent throwing out a first pitch at a Mets game.

Shannon Sharpe Has the Best Unit in NFL History

shannon sharpe

by Eddie Bagelstein

If you read a story with the following lead sentence, what might you infer that story is about?

The current dominance of the Seahawks’ secondary made us wonder: Who are the best units in league history? 

Shannon Sharpe’s double Coke-can cock, right?

The Sports World Was So Pathetic Yesterday That The Jets Third String Quarterback Doing A Salsa Dance In A Preseason Game Was A Big Deal

matt simms salsa

by Frank Rhombus

Of course, ESPN had the breaking news of Johnny Manziel dropping a deuce at a local Waffle House, but other than that, Matt Fucking Sims doing a salsa dance after throwing a meaningless touchdown had sports blogs from Busted Coverage to Deadspin creaming their shorts.

Welcome to the NBA Steve Ballmer, Now Shut the Fuck Up

Internet And Technology Leaders Address Web 2.0 Summit 2011

by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching this video of new Clippers owner Steve Ballmer going absolutely ape-shit nutzo at a rally for his new team, I immediately concluded the following: We’re going to be seeing way too much of this fucking guy. Doesn’t he remind you of a bigger, balder Mark Cuban, the league’s most annoyingly fired up billionaire cheerleader?

Jim Harbaugh Apparently Once Pissed His Pants So He Could Get A Picture With A Baseball Player He No Longer Remembers

jim harbaugh piss pants

by Frank Rhombus

No word if they were an $8 set of khaki pants from Kmart or Gimbels or some other shit store from the sixties though.

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