Apparently ‘Violation Of Team Rules’ Is Code For ‘Sexual Assault’ In 2015

by Andy Ostroff This week and last, two players on two different premier NCAA basketball teams were dismissed from playing under circumstances that were more vague than the details of former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford explaining his busy weekend. It wasn’t until later that we found out these dismissals were More »

The Phillies Lost To A Division 2 College Team Yesterday

by Tommy Gimler Good news, Philly fans. The Eagles’ season opener is just a mere six months way. More »

ESPN Is Again Making Something Out Of Nothing

by Andy Ostroff When I first read about the story out of Vanderbilt where coach Kevin Stallings used profane language to berate his player Wade Baldwin, I thought, “That’s college basketball. I won’t write about this.” Then I watched the video, and guess what…I thought even less of this non-story. More »

Watch This Dude Puke On Himself At A Montreal Canadiens Game

by Frank Rhombus Wait, is Dave Attell a Montreal Canadiens fan? More »

Vanderbilt’s Head Coach To Player: ‘I’ll Fucking Kill You’

by Tommy Gimler Hey, clapping in an opponent’s face after you beat them on their home court is a dick move, but it’s not as pathetic as a head coach telling one of his own players that he’s going to fucking kill them, especially when you’re the head coach of the winning More »

 

Chris Jones Is A Millennial Douchebag

chris jones

by Andy Ostroff

It is not cool to hit people or threaten to hit people…especially women.  But University of Louisville guard Chris Jones took it to a new level the other day with his threatening text message to a girl that allegedly made his dorm room messy.

Way To Ruin It For Everyone, Kansas State

kansas state fans rush court

by Andy Ostroff

Last night the Kansas State basketball team looked great by beating their arch rivals Kansas in a close game. However, their student body really looked like pieces of shit by pinning Kansas coach Bill Self against the scorer’s table and purposely trying to injure one of the Kansas players, which brings me to this question: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?

Nate Allen Cleared Of Jerking Off In His Truck Because He Was Slumming It At Red Lobster Instead

Nate-Allen

by Tommy Gimler

We’re actually not sure which is more embarrassing here, getting accused of masturbating in your truck by a 16-year-old girl or settling for imitation seafood despite the fact that you pulled down $3 million last year.

UNC-Duke Live Blog Posted Five Days Later

unc duke overtime

by Andy Ostroff

This was supposed to run on Wednesday night, but our intern Rakesh got the runs pretty bad after eating Five Guys for lunch and has been out ever since. Still, the game was so intense and this live blog is so damn funny, that we’re going to run it anyway. Cheers.

Gonzaga Wins After Being Down 17, Dude Scratches Balls For 40 Seconds During Postgame Interview

Gonzaga Ball Scratcher

by Frank Rhombus

You look familiar. No, seriously. I know you from somewhere. Oh yeah, you’re the dude who itched his stones for over 40 seconds on national television after Gonzaga’s comeback win Saturday night.

Clippers Fan Who We’re Pretty Sure Doesn’t Have Downs Sucks At Free Throws

bad clippers fan free throw shooter

by Frank Rhombus

Feel like shit this Saturday morning? Hey, it could be worse. You could be this fucking clown.

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