Brian Urlacher Says The Only Elite Thing About Jay Cutler Is His Salary

by Frank Rhombus Big words from a guy who made his living jumping on the pile after the opposing player was already tackled. More »

Smoking Hot ESPN Reporter Damn Near Gets Smoked By Band

by Tommy Gimler Odds are you didn’t catch last night’s college football game between UL-Lafayette and Arkansas State, and it’s probably because it was UL-Lafayette playing against Arkansas State. Besides the over damn near coming in before the first half ended, you also missed this smoking hottie sideline reporter almost More »

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Royals Of All Time

by Eddie Bagelstein The Royals have been so bad for so long that a lot of people forgot Kansas City still had a baseball team. It’s been 29 years since the Royals’ last trip to the World Series. Christ, Whitney Houston had the top song in America the last time this More »

7 Things We Know After Week 7 Of The NFL

by Tommy Gimler The Carolina Panthers are the top dog in the NFC South, and they’re fucking terrible. More »

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Reasons The Broncos Are America’s Top Team

by Eddie Bagelstein As a hardened journalist, it’s important for me to be fair and unbiased. Just because I’m a lifelong Broncos fan doesn’t mean I’m going to post lies and propaganda in the hopes of having more people like my team… no, I take that back; I would if More »

 

Rakesh Says This Is The Week To Take Home Mad Rupee Betting On Football, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. Last week was big kick in penis thanks to West Virginia hitting 55-yard field goal instead of going to overtime so over could hit. But like my Uncle Omkar used to say, “Rakesh, you can’t win them all, bro, but you can always hit your wife.” He’s in jail now for beating Aunt Tanvi, my friend. Sick fuck, bro.

Royals Fan Celebrates Making The World Series By Yelling “Fuck Her Right In The Pussy” During Live News Report

royals fuck her right in the pussy

by Frank Rhombus

Eli Rosenberg sounds like the Jewiest reporter west of the Mississippi, and he had the task of interviewing Royals fans outside of Kauffman Stadium as part of KMBC’s live coverage of Kansas City clinching their first World Series berth in 29 years. It didn’t go so well.

Hell Has Frozen Over

ned yost

by Tommy Gimler

Thank Christ I didn’t make a bet with my fat fuck brother-in-law that if manager/dipshit Ned Yost ever took a team to the World Series, he could sleep with my wife. Because right now, I’d have to sit outside my bedroom door like Jaime Lannister while listening to somebody else take my wife to pound town.

7 Things We Know After Week 6 Of The NFL

mike nugent missed OT field goal

by Tommy Gimler

Fucking kickers, man.

Some Bitch Stole This Veteran’s Prosthetic Leg At The Eagles Game Last Night

prosthetic leg stolen

by Frank Rhombus

Jesus fuck, man. What did she do for an encore, push a kid down a flight of stairs so she could get her paws on a two-dollar T-shirt that an Eagles ambassador threw into the stands?

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Sports Bathroom Breaks

dog poops mid competition

by Eddie Bagelstein

I was getting ready to sit down and write this week’s story, and I was suddenly swept up with the overwhelming urge to defecate. Funny how the DUD has that effect on me.

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