Louisville’s Strength Coach Sure Looks Like He Could Use Some Of Those Hookers

by Tommy Gimler How this guy has made it 30 years at the University of Louisville without succumbing to a massive heart attack is anybody’s guess. More »

Three Final Thoughts On Super Bowl 50

by Frank Rhombus Let’s be honest: If you had to compare Sunday night’s big game to accidental nudity, Super Bowl 50 was the equivalent to seeing your great-grandma’s tits. More »

These Super Bowl 50 Prop Bets Are Perfect Chance To Make Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

by Rakesh the Intern Check it out, bro. Most bets made on Super Bowl 50 today will be just like fisting your sister in church pew: illegal, bro. More »

Tell Your Wife To Take A Hike So You Can Listen To Our Super Bowl 50 Preview DUDcast

by Tommy Gimler Our latest podcast features the most amazing story you’ll ever hear about a dude in a wheelchair who tried to “E.T.” his way over a bonfire during a sports championship riot. More »

Somebody Threw A Big Fake Dick At A Politician In New Zealand

by Frank Rhombus I could be wrong, but I think the same thing once happened to Thomas Jefferson. More »

 

Colin Kaepernick Wants To Play For The Jets, Which Is Perfect Because He Sucks

colin kaepernick jets

by Tommy Gimler

Somebody might want to tell Colin Kaepernick that when you have $114 million remaining on your contract and you’re not even the highest-rated quarterback on your own team, you don’t get to call the shots.

Watch This Shitdick Rugby Player Break His Nose During What Was Supposed To Be A Motivational Prematch Headbutt

rugby headbutt breaks nose

by Frank Rhombus

Well, I guess it was still motivational, as it reminded me to not be an absolute fucking moron today.

Warren Moon Thinks People Are Treating Cam Newton As If ‘He Raped Five Pastors’ Daughters’

Cam Newton

by Tommy Gimler

Well, then he’d probably be the starting quarterback for Dallas instead of Carolina.

Olsen Twins Or The Pro Bowl? Sign Me Up For Mary-Kate And Ashley

olsen twins mary-kate and ashley olsen

by Andy Ostroff

I would rather watch Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s 1999 soccer movie Switching Goals than any part of the NFL Pro Bowl on Sunday, and it seems as though many NFL players agree.

Pistons TV Analyst: ‘I’m Coming In Your Face’

greg kelser im coming in your face

by Frank Rhombus

It takes a lot to get us talking about an NBA regular season game in January, but apparently the suggestion of ejaculating in another man’s face is enough to do the trick.

Some Dude Got Shot And Then Gave The Greatest TV Interview Of 2016

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by Tommy Gimler

Sure, the year is younger than a girl Roman Polanski likes to rape, but there is no way you’re going to find a better interview this year than the one Devon Hawkins gave to Quincy’s KHQA this morning shortly after he got shot.

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