Le’Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount Arrested For…Wait For It…Marijuana, Add Decent Points To Your Current Athletes Getting Arrested (CAGA) League

by Tommy Gimler Let’s be honest. An NFL player getting busted for using pot is like getting charged with rape after you and her agreed that it was going to be a thirty-second game of “Just The Tip.” It’s pretty fucking weak. More »

Myrtle Beach Manager Slides Into Home Plate and Strips Off Jersey During The Ejection Of The Year

by Tommy Gimler Let’s be honest. You might best recognize Joe Mikulik from the the phrase, “Who the fuck is Joe Mikulik?” More »

Check Out The Calendar This Fantasy Football Dork Had To Make After Losing His League

by Tommy Gimler Losing a fantasy football league sucks, especially when there are women in your league, and finishing dead last often times comes with a price. Whether it’s throwing an extra fifty bucks in the champion’s pocket or having to devour a peanut butter and pubes sandwich, many dorks More »

A Real Life Broncos Fan’s Football Fantasy

by Adam Pockross Full disclosure: I’m a Broncos fan. It’s been the most consistent presence in my life. When my mom and dad abandoned me to go to work, I always had the Denver Broncos. And HBO. But I spent a couple of years in college without HBO, so the Broncos More »

Oy Vey! No More Of “The Stripper” at Blackhawks Games?

by Eddie Bagelstein If we can’t get blatant sexism at sporting events, where the hell can we? More »


Ryan Braun Is Just An Average Player Without PEDs, And It’s Killing The Brewers

ryan braun average player without peds

by Frank Rhombus

Since beginning the 2014 season on a 17-7 tear, the Milwaukee Brewers have basically been a .500 ball club. Losers of 13 of 25 games since the All-Star break, Milwaukee has scored just 94 runs (3.76 per game), and one of the big reasons why is that outfielder Ryan Braun has been a worthless steaming pile of pig shit.

Browns Rookie Gives Woman His Number On Instagram, Her Husband’s Friends Text Him Dick Pics

Terrance West

by Tommy Gimler

The good news for Cleveland Browns fans is that rookie running back Terrance West doesn’t lack confidence. The bad news, though, is that he’s pretty fucking stupid.

A Cowboys-Raiders Joint Practice In A City Where Rival Gangs Wear Cowboys And Raiders Gear Went Exactly Like You Would Expect

cowboys raiders fight

by Frank Rhombus

Let’s be honest. If you put a seal in shark-infested waters, it’s going to get eaten. If you put peanut butter on your stones, your dog will lick it off. If you send a car full of black guys into Manhattan Beach, they’re going to get pulled over. And goddammit, if you hold a Cowboys-Raiders joint practice in the city of Oxnard, where rival gangs wear Cowboys and Raiders gear, shit’s going to get real.

Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny


by Frank Rhombus

Apparently getting skinny this summer is becoming almost as trendy among NBA players as fucking Carmelo Anthony’s wife. In fact, Carmelo himself became the latest baller to post a skinny pic of himself on Instagram today.

Watch Jon Jones And Daniel Cormier Take Turns Calling Each Other Pussies

jon jones daniel cormier pussy

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. If the Jon Jones-Daniel Cormier September 27 bout at UFC 178 is even just half as good as their shit-talking sesh from earlier this week, we’re going to be in for a nice little treat.

OMG! Scott Mitchell Is Like Soooooo Fat, You Guys

scott mitchell fat

by Tommy Gimler

We didn’t think it would ever happen, but we have finally seen a picture of somebody so fat and so fucking disgusting that we would actually consider going down on Melissa McCarthy, and it’s all thanks to former Detroit Lions quarterback Scott Mitchell.

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