New DUD Poll: Which One Of These Stud Athletes Would You Let Plow Your Sister?

by Tommy Gimler Clayton Kershaw and Mike Trout were recently named Major League Baseball’s MVPs. Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL. Patrick Kane is the craziest player in the NHL, like crazy awesome. And Antonio Brown is having a hell of a year. So, we ask you, More »

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top 5 Dopest NFL Names Of All Time

by Eddie Bagelstein Marshawn Lynch. That’s the first time I’ve ever written his name, and I got it right. It’s surprisingly phonetic. More »

Mike Golic Loses Bet And Has To Recreate Kim Kardashian Oiled-Up Poop Chute Magazine Cover

by Tommy Gimler Check it out, kids. ESPN finally did something that doesn’t suck. More »

The Bills And Jets Should Do Us All A Favor And Not Play At All

by Frank Rhombus Fuck postponing this game or moving it to some other shithole in the Northeast. The Bills and Jets should just refrain from playing Sunday’s game, so we can all spend the rest of our NFL weekend living like Charlie Sheen: WINNING! More »

This Is The Week To Bet Against Kansas City And Make Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

by Rakesh the Intern Listen, bro. This goddamn Chiefs team is really cutting into the Rupee I have stashed to side for Christmas presents this year, my friend. They have now cover spread for like nine straight games, boss. But even though shit from pig Raiders team is their next More »

It’s Official: Michelle Ulibarri Is The Sexiest Woman At The DUD

by Tommy Gimler We asked you to vote for the sexiest piece of eye candy at the DUD, and you have spoken quite loudly. It appears that Michelle Ulibarri m-m-m-m-makes us all very happy. More »

 

It’s Official: Michelle Ulibarri Is The Sexiest Woman At The DUD

michelle ulibarri

by Tommy Gimler

We asked you to vote for the sexiest piece of eye candy at the DUD, and you have spoken quite loudly. It appears that Michelle Ulibarri m-m-m-m-makes us all very happy.

Remember Before Geno Smith When Jets Fans Thought Mark Sanchez Was the Worst QB Ever?

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by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching Mark Sanchez’s Panther-stomping the other night, and hearing all that praise for the kicked-to-the-curb former Jet, I couldn’t help but wonder how many Jets fans were wishing they hadn’t hoped Sanchez would get kicked to the curb in the first place.

Jose Canseco and the Galactic Beings

canseco

by Adam Pockross

What’s not to love about Jose Canseco’s Twitter presence? While most former ballplayers either fade away into obscurity, upper management, or the MLB Network, the former Bash Brother has stayed relevant by owning one of the foremost social media platforms around.

Rakesh Is Back In Vegas With Football Picks That Will Give Bookie Ulcer, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. You might look at the shit from pig betting week I have last week and say, “This Rakesh is colder than witch tit.” But when you bet against trends and they don’t hit, all that means is that you can double up and win ever more Rupee the next week, my friend.

Patriots Thank “IHATENlGGERSS” For Helping Them Reach One Million Twitter Followers

wow

by Frank Rhombus

We’re pretty sure Vince Wilfork didn’t send that tweet.

Clayton Kershaw And Mike Trout Are Your MVPs, Can Plow My Sister

trout kershaw sister plow

by Tommy Gimler

Clayton Kershaw and Mike Trout were named the NL and AL Most Valuable Players today, cementing their #1 and #2 spots on the list of guys who can run a train on my sister.

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