No Tiger, No Phil, No Ernie? Well, This Masters Can Eat My Ass: A Commentary

Published by tgim on April 11th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Hello, friends. Imagine watching the Yankees play the Nationals in Game 7 of the World Series this year without Jeter, Ellsbury, Beltran, McCann, Strasburg, Harper, Werth, and Desmond. Imagine the Seahawks ass raping the Broncos this year without Wilson, Lynch, Sherman, Manning, Welker, or Moreno ever taking the field. Now imagine a Masters without Tiger, Phil, or Ernie Els. Would you watch it? We sure as shit aren’t. (more…)

Either Derek Jeter Took A Shit In Michael Pineda’s Hand Or That’s Pine Tar

Published by tgim on April 10th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

The New York Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox tonight 4-1 behind six strong innings from Michael Pineda. The Yanks’ right-hander gave up just four hits and one earned run while striking out seven. But it wasn’t his quality start that had NESN’s Jerry Remy’s panties in a bind. (more…)

On The 40th Anniversary Of His 715th Home Run, Hank Aaron Decided To Compare President Obama’s Republican Critics To The KKK

Published by rhombus on April 9th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

The Atlanta Braves are no strangers to freedom of expression. I mean, they throw it in our faces everyday by winning games despite filling their roster with turds like B.J. Upton, Justin Upton, and Dan Uggla. But they really took it to another level during their home opener against the New York Mets last night. (more…)

Apparently Adam Jones Doesn’t Care For Fans Who Run On The Field

Published by tgim on April 8th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Two Yankees fans ran onto the field during the eighth inning of New York’s 14-5 ass pounding administered by the Baltimore Orioles today, and O’s center fielder Adam Jones apparently wasn’t too fond of their actions. (more…)

Why The Final Four’s Worst Commercial Might Be The Best

Published by tgim on April 7th, 2014

by Andy Ostroff

Let’s take a timeout and look at the Chris Webber Burger King commercial. Yes, I wanted to get that lame pun out of the way. (more…)

Watch Billy Cub Punch A Dude In The Face With His Paw

Published by tgim on April 6th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

If you’ve been dying to see an unofficial Chicago Cubs mascot walk into a Wrigleyville bar and then punch a guy in the face with his paw after the guy removed his oversized bear dome, you’re in luck because it happened yesterday after the Cubs were blanked by the Phillies. (more…)