Category Archives: Crap

Give Any Upton Brother Millions Of Dollars And They’ll Give You A Dick Sandwich

justin upton strikeouts

by Tommy Gimler

The 2016 MLB season might be younger than the kid who makes my boxer briefs, but it looks as though another Upton brother is showing the world he is nothing more than an overpaid pile of dog shit.

It’s That Time Of Year Again When We Get To See How Big Of A Bag Of Shit Mel Kiper Is

kiper

by Tommy Gimler

There is one reason – and one reason only – why I dish out a few bucks a month to be an ESPN Insider, and that’s to prove to our six or seven readers every year that Mel Kiper gets paid at least six figures a year to be a worthless sack of fuck.

One Guy Was More Excited About Robinson Cano’s Grand Slam Than Everybody Else

robinson cano grand slam double dicks

by Frank Rhombus

It looked like it was a real sausagefest at “The ‘Pen” inside Safeco Field last night, so if this guy would’ve wanted to celebrate with two actual dicks, it probably would’ve been doable.

Tigers Outfielder Tyler Collins Gave Detroit Fans The Finger After He ‘Lost A Ball In The Sky’

tyler collins middle finger

by Tommy Gimler

If you’re friends with Tyler Collins, you might want to show him how to use a jackhammer.

MLB Players And Their Game Of Thrones Counterparts

old melisandre

by Tommy Gimler

This will probably be the only time in his life that Albert Pujols is known as the “Red Woman.”

This Reporter Who Tried To Get Draymond Green To Say Something Stupid About The Houston Floods Can Eat A Bag Of Dicks

draymond green reporter houston floods

by Frank Rhombus

At least eight people have died and thousands more have lost their homes from severe flooding in Houston over the last week or so, and that apparently “inspired” some asshole international reporter to try to get Golden State’s Draymond Green to say something stupid about it.

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