Category Archives: Crap

Here’s Who SHOULD BE Starting The MLB All-Star Game For The American League

Stephen Vogt

by Tommy Gimler

We won’t know for sure until tomorrow, but as it stands right now, five Kansas City Royals players will start the MLB All-Star Game later this month.

LA Kings Summer Community Service Team Predicted To Win Title

slava voynov jarret stoll mugshots

by Andy Ostroff

In the last few days, two Los Angeles Kings players, Jarett Stoll and Slava Voynov, have pleaded their way to court sentences that involve community service.

A Local Fan’s View Of The Pig Shit Awful Phillies

the phillies are terrible

by Schroeder

If the Milwaukee Brewers actually pull off a sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies tonight, it will be the nastiest broom the sports world has seen since the one that was shoved up a Johnson Creek wrestler’s balloon knot in 1992.

Watching The Los Angeles Sparks Is Somehow Worse Than Swimming At UVA


by Andy Ostroff

Basically, this article is a big fuck you to our editor-in-chief Tommy Gimler, who refused to run my story on the USWNT’s amazing victory over the Germans yesterday because the DUD doesn’t post stories about soccer. “Never have and never will,” he said. So, I decided to give him this post on the WNBA instead.

You Couldn’t ‘Safely’ Swim For The University Of Virginia Last Year Unless You Chewed A Live Goldfish While Holding Your Teammate’s Cock And Balls

university of virginia swimming team

by Frank Rhombus

Gross. I mean, you had to chew the fish?

The Astros Mascot Was Pretty Excited About Sunday’s Win Over The Yankees

orbit astros mascot boner

by Frank Rhombus

A lot of people in the Houston area are pretty excited about the Astros’ season so far, but perhaps nobody is as excited as the team’s mascot Orbit.

Image Description