All the Crap posts:

Buckle The Fuck Up: The NHL West Playoff Preview

Published by tgim on April 15th, 2014

by Teddy Westside

People always talk about how the NCAA Tournament is the best sporting event in the world. Well, whatever. Instead of fighting that with a bunch of old bald dudes trying to relive their glory days from Wichita State, I am just going to make this claim: Hockey has the greatest postseason among the four professional sports. (more…)

As Expected, Kevin Costner’s ‘Draft Day’ Movie Bombed At The Box Office This Weekend

Published by rhombus on April 14th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

You know who’s buying Kevin Costner as the GM of the Cleveland Browns? Nobody, apparently. (more…)

No Tiger, No Phil, No Ernie? Well, This Masters Can Eat My Ass: A Commentary

Published by tgim on April 11th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Hello, friends. Imagine watching the Yankees play the Nationals in Game 7 of the World Series this year without Jeter, Ellsbury, Beltran, McCann, Strasburg, Harper, Werth, and Desmond. Imagine the Seahawks ass raping the Broncos this year without Wilson, Lynch, Sherman, Manning, Welker, or Moreno ever taking the field. Now imagine a Masters without Tiger, Phil, or Ernie Els. Would you watch it? We sure as shit aren’t. (more…)

On The 40th Anniversary Of His 715th Home Run, Hank Aaron Decided To Compare President Obama’s Republican Critics To The KKK

Published by rhombus on April 9th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

The Atlanta Braves are no strangers to freedom of expression. I mean, they throw it in our faces everyday by winning games despite filling their roster with turds like B.J. Upton, Justin Upton, and Dan Uggla. But they really took it to another level during their home opener against the New York Mets last night. (more…)

Why The Final Four’s Worst Commercial Might Be The Best

Published by tgim on April 7th, 2014

by Andy Ostroff

Let’s take a timeout and look at the Chris Webber Burger King commercial. Yes, I wanted to get that lame pun out of the way. (more…)

The Washington Mudslide Looks Like A Huge Dick From Space

Published by rhombus on April 2nd, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

Sure, there is nothing funny about the death toll from the March 22nd mudslide in Snohamish County, Washington reaching 29 today. But the fact that the aftermath looks like a big, brown cock when viewed from space is fucking hysterical. (more…)