Category Archives: Crap

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Women I’d Hate To Meet in a Dark Alley After I’ve Been Making Too Many Domestic Abuse Jokes

rousey

by Eddie Bagelstein

God spoke to me last night. He said, “Eddie, why are you such a prick? Why do you keep making jokes about women getting abused? It’s not funny Eddie.” To which I replied, “You know this is a pseudonym, right?”

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Wife Beater Songs

rihanna

by Eddie Bagelstein

CBS recently pulled Rihanna’s song from its Thursday night pre-game, assumedly because Ray Rice popped his wife and Rihanna’s popped-mug singing pop songs would bring all those painful memories back.

Betting On Football Is Easier Than My Ex-Girlfriend Akansh, And She Was Biggest Slut In Howrah, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

What did I tell you last week, bro? Why make money washing your grandpa’s nut sack when you can sit home with cigar and hooker poon while winning Rupee betting on American football. And if you thought last weekend was easy, wait until you see this weekend’s games, my friend. They are easier than my ex-girlfreind Akansh, and she was like biggest slut in Howrah, bro…

Jonathan Dwyer Getting Arrested For Domestic Abuse Means You’re Probably Abusing The Shit Out Of Your Opponents In Your Athletes Getting Arrested Fantasy League

jonathan dwyer arrested

by Frank Rhombus

I believe it was Harry Dunne who uttered the phrase “Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally dick yourself out of a career in professional football.”

Jameis Winston Suspended For First Half Of Clemson Game After Repeatedly Yelling ‘Fuck Her Right In The Pussy’ On Campus

winston

by Frank Rhombus

Let’s be honest: Jameis Winston is a hell of an athlete, but he is a goddamn idiot.

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top 5 Dead Wrestlers

sean-ohaire

by Eddie Bagelstein

I’m sure there’s a contingency of yokels out there who are very upset about the news that former WWE wrestler Sean O’Haire is now formerly alive, but I’m not one of those yokels. Not that I don’t feel bad for his family and yada, yada, but really I just didn’t know who he was, so I’m not actually affected by it. I haven’t watched wrestling since I was 13 and became a man and started watching grown-up sports.

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