Category Archives: Crap

Four White Guys And An Egyptian Walk Onto A Basketball Court

pitino

by Frank Rhombus

Odds are you didn’t catch last night’s Louisville-Savannah State college basketball game because it’s November, and that means college basketball matters about as much as a Jonas Brother. But after the Cardinals curb stomped the Tigers by 61 points, Louisville head coach Rick Pitino gave us one of the funniest quotes of the year, which of course means that white people everywhere are pissed about it.

After Making The Catch Of The Year, Odell Beckham Jr. Can Also Plow My Sister

odell beckham jr catch

by Tommy Gimler

The Dallas Cowboys beat the New York Giants in the shithole most people call New Jersey Sunday night, but who gives a shit? The real story was New York’s Odell Beckham Jr. using just three fingers on his big right paw to make what was easily the catch of the year.

The Dolphins’ Savior: A DUD Short Story

dolphins fan

by Adam Pockross

60 seconds, motherfuckers. Just hang on for 60 fucking ticks. Christ, this is dick-sandwich time.

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top 5 Dopest NFL Names Of All Time

Marshawn Lynch

by Eddie Bagelstein

Marshawn Lynch. That’s the first time I’ve ever written his name, and I got it right. It’s surprisingly phonetic.

Mike Golic Loses Bet And Has To Recreate Kim Kardashian Oiled-Up Poop Chute Magazine Cover

mike golic kim kardashian

by Tommy Gimler

Check it out, kids. ESPN finally did something that doesn’t suck.

The Bills And Jets Should Do Us All A Favor And Not Play At All

NFL: Buffalo Bills-Winter Storm Scenes

by Frank Rhombus

Fuck postponing this game or moving it to some other shithole in the Northeast. The Bills and Jets should just refrain from playing Sunday’s game, so we can all spend the rest of our NFL weekend living like Charlie Sheen: WINNING!

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