Category Archives: Seattle Seahawks

2018 NFC West Preview: 49ers Fans Are Dreaming Of A Season Bigger Than Jimmy Garoppolo’s Girl’s Boobs

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by Tommy Gimler

Believe it or not, the Rams’ road to the top of the NFC West this year isn’t as easy as bedding Alyssa Milano if you’re a pro baseball player.

Is It Me Or Is Michael Bennett One Giant Bag Of Shit?

NFL: Preseason-Minnesota Vikings at Seattle Seahawks

by Frank Rhombus

If you’re still looking to get either of the Bennett brothers a Christmas gift for some reason, a mesh bag of dicks seems appropriate this year.

NFL Wild Card Weekend Is Perfect Time To Destroy Bookie With These Bets, Bro

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by Rakesh the Intern

Happy New Year, bro! Let’s make it a year where we tear bookie’s asshole to pieces with these can’t miss bets on this silly game of American football, my friend!

Reason #13 Why NFL Ratings Are Down: Seattle 6, Arizona 6

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by Frank Rhombus

If you’re a fan of offensive plays that don’t make it past the line of scrimmage and missed chip-shot field goals, oh baby, then last night was a humdinger for you.

Here Is How The NFC West Will Finish, Bro

NFL: NFC Championship-San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

by Rakesh the Intern

Check it out, bro. The best division in football will beat piss out of each other this year harder than Uncle Omkar used to beat Aunt Tanvi. Good thing is that Omkar is now in prison, just like most of 49ers players, bro.

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top 5 ‘Murica Moments From Super Bowl 49

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by Eddie Bagelstein

Sadly, another season has come and gone, and aside from having no meaningful Sunday activity until September, now my editor wants me to waste my time talking about sports that no Denver team is currently good at.

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