Category Archives: Carolina Panthers

When Greg Hardy Threw His Girlfriend Onto His Stash Of Guns, It Probably Threw Your Fat Ass To The Top Of Your Athletes Getting Arrested Fantasy League

Greg-Hardy mugshot

by Tommy Gimler

Pacman Jones must be locked in a basement somewhere because the NFL offseason in terms of players getting arrested has been extremely quiet. Well, at least it had been. Thanks to Carolina Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy allegedly throwing his girlfriend onto a pile of guns, things have picked up rather nicely, and it’s time to check in on what effect this will have on your Current Athletes Getting Arrested (CAGA) Fantasy League.

Sunday’s Worst

matt schaub

by Tommy Gimler

It has been quite the crazy night in the NFL with the Raiders playing until almost three in the morning on the East Coast. And naturally, because they’re the Raiders and we’re doing our weekly post on the worst Sunday had to offer, we had to wait until that bitch went final…

DUD NFL Preview: Predicting The NFC South While Watching German Porn In Munich

falcons

by Tommy Gimler

As our two-week European vacation draws near its end, I guess I’ll take a break from watching German porn with my wife in Munich to take a peak at what’s going to happen in the NFC South this year.

Jesus H, Relax. We’ll Make Some Picks

Rakesh

by Tommy Gimler

Everybody relax, you fucking degenerates. And by everybody, we mean both of you. We’ve gotten two requests this week to make some picks for this weekend’s American football games. And while two might not seem like that much to you, it’s two more than we usually get…

Cam Newton Drive?

Cam Newton

by Tommy Gimler

There are two ways to get a street named after you. One is to leave such a positive mark on this world after a number of years of public service and the other is by getting capped by a group of Mexican gang bangers during a routine traffic stop.

The DUD Live: Follow Mel Kiper’s Mistakes As They Happen!

kiper

by Tommy Gimler

Mel Kiper is ESPN’s chief meteorologist: He gets paid a huge salary to make mistakes.

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