All the NFC North posts:

Chronic Complainer Anthony Davis Thinks Green Bay Is A Shithole

Published by tgim on January 5th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Packers fans looking to keep their fat asses warm today received some fuel for their fires courtesy of this tweet San Francisco 49ers offensive tackle Anthony Davis sent out after WWE superstar/sad old man Ric Flair flew into Green Bay (well, Appleton) to give the 49ers a pep talk before Sunday’s NFC Wild Card playoff game: (more…)

Nowhere Else Would the Words Kentucky, Viking, USO, Natalie Imbruglia, DUI, Sack, Minnesota, Johnny Knoxville, And Canada All Be Used in the Same Story: An Ode To Jared Allen

Published by tgim on January 3rd, 2014

special to The DUD from Jeff Leinenkugel

That smile and Kentucky Waterfall was totally worth the 6-year, $72 million contract… (more…)

Vikings Linebacker Erin Henderson’s Second Arrest In Six Weeks For Driving Smashed Means Your 2014 Current Athletes Getting Arrested Fantasy Team Is Off To A Smashing Start

Published by tgim on January 2nd, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

The new year is off to a surprising start, as the Detroit Lions do not lead the NFL in offseason arrests. In fact, they don’t even lead the NFC North, thanks to Minnesota Vikings linebacker Erin Henderson getting popped with his second DUI in six weeks after his SUV left the road, skidded through a parking lot, and smashed into some trees yesterday afternoon. And while this dipshit spent yesterday sitting alone in a Carver County prison cell, if you have him on your Current Athletes Getting Arrested (CAGA) fantasy team, you’re currently sitting alone at the top. (more…)

Your Ultimate Bears-Packers Prop Sheet

Published by tgim on December 29th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. The Bears-Packers game today is each team’s and their fan base’s Super Bowl. After all, odds are whoever wins today is going to suffer a severe ass pounding next week at the hands of 49ers. So, why not make the most of it? Invite your buddies and their fat wives over to your duplex, load up on some Ruffles, Dean’s French Onion Dip, and Pabst Blue Ribbon, and print up this prop sheet to make every part of this game more exciting than finding out your girlfriend once scissored her roommate in her very crazy yet confusing sophomore year of college. (more…)

A Hot Dog Vendor, A Whiny Head Coach, And A Cameraman Who Just Got Hit In The Dick With A Football Walk Into A Bar…

Published by tgim on December 22nd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Peyton Manning set a new single-season touchdown record for quarterbacks. Tony Romo hit DeMarco Murray for a game-winning tuddy that, at least for one more week, saved the Cowboys’ season. Eli Manning played in a game that featured a pick six that he didn’t throw. Sunday was crazy. Like Lindsay Lohan bat shit crazy. And if for even just one minute you looked away at your buddy’s girlfriend as she bent over to unload the dishwasher, you may have missed some of the best stuff. (more…)

Time To Silence The “Iron Mic”

Published by vinny on December 17th, 2013

by Vinny The Book

I want to start off by saying…Mr. Ditka, I respect the crap out of you.  Do not punch me with your 74-year-old Incredible Hulk-like closed fist.  I would crumble…instantly. (more…)