by Tommy Gimler
From what I’ve heard from several foreigners, if you drink and drive in many European countries, you lose your license for life. In Japan, if you have a blood-alcohol level of just .03 while cruising in your Mitsuoka Galue, you could be slapped with a 15-year prison sentence. But in this country, if you decide to drive while intoxicated, as long as you’re a professional athlete or Lindsay Lohan, carry on. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
Nobody, not even my good buddy and avid Browns fan Josh Clark, will argue that if you lined up the entire Cleveland Browns roster next to twenty paper bags filled with dog shit, it would be hard to tell the difference between the two. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
On location all weekend in Houston, there was no way I was getting any action with my wife over 1,500 miles away. It was exactly the opposite for football enthusiasts across the country: (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
If the New Orleans Saints haven’t started making vacation plans for January yet, well, they should be. They’re terrible. But these teams should hold off from naming their own price on priceline.com for a Caribbean getaway. Their records might be dog shit, but odds are they’ll turn it around in time for some football in the new year. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
Sunday’s NFL action was the best we’ve ever seen, but odds are you took an ass beating and had to pull $40 out of your girlfriend’s “new tits” jar just to afford lunch through Friday. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
It’s late on Sunday night on the east coast, and I have two choices. I can either go into the guest bedroom and toss one off to two mature broads scissoring each other or watch the rest of the Steelers/Broncos game. Looks like the Terrible Towel won’t be cleaning up any mess tonight… (more…)
{ Yup, as long as those people aren't made of meat... } – May 22, 9:46 AM
{ Prince Fielder will down that many Cuban pastries and the person who ate them; in one sitting of course..... } – May 22, 1:41 AM { You're a silly little cunt hair, Mr. Santos... } – May 20, 6:03 PM { The Bills don't suck because they run a simple west coast offense, they suck because they draft players like E J Manuel in the first... } – May 20, 10:30 AM
{ Suck on a cheese curd, EJ is gonna dissapoint you like you dissapointed your wifes parents when you married her and light it up this... } – May 19, 10:49 PM
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