All the AFC North posts:

Here’s Video Of Ray Rice’s Knocked Out Fiancee

Published by tgim on February 19th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

In case you haven’t heard, Ray Rice allegedly punched his fiancee in the face after she spit on him in an Atlantic City casino over the weekend. Now, TMZ Sports has obtained video of Rice dragging his knocked out fiancee Janay Palmer out of a Revel Casino elevator. And from what I’ve heard, I was in pretty much the same form as the Baltimore Ravens running back’s fiancee after my show at the Firewater Saloon in Chicago last night. (more…)


Ray Rice Punching His Fiancee Might Help You Punch The Ticket To Your Athletes Getting Arrested League Championship

Published by tgim on February 17th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was a bigger turd for your fantasy football team this season than Chief Keef is to society. But if you have Rice on your Current Athletes Getting Arrested (CAGA) fantasy team, you’re sitting pretty at the top of the standings after he punched his fiancee as part of a romantic getaway to Atlantic City over the weekend. (more…)


A Hot Dog Vendor, A Whiny Head Coach, And A Cameraman Who Just Got Hit In The Dick With A Football Walk Into A Bar…

Published by tgim on December 22nd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Peyton Manning set a new single-season touchdown record for quarterbacks. Tony Romo hit DeMarco Murray for a game-winning tuddy that, at least for one more week, saved the Cowboys’ season. Eli Manning played in a game that featured a pick six that he didn’t throw. Sunday was crazy. Like Lindsay Lohan bat shit crazy. And if for even just one minute you looked away at your buddy’s girlfriend as she bent over to unload the dishwasher, you may have missed some of the best stuff. (more…)


The DUD NFL Midseason Report: AFC

Published by tgim on November 5th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

After finishing the 2012 campaign with an NFL-worst 2-14 record, this year’s Kansas City Chiefs are the lone unbeaten team, sitting atop the AFC West with a 9-0 record. If you called that, you’re a fucking liar. (more…)


Sunday’s Worst

Published by tgim on November 3rd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Nick Foles played so well Sunday afternoon that Eagles fans are probably already lining up their girlfriends on his doorstep for a proper plowing. These guys, however, were absolute dog shit. (more…)


Based On Current Records And Remaining Schedule, These AFC Teams Will Make The Playoffs. Well, Unless Peyton Manning Breaks His Neck…

Published by tgim on October 3rd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, we’re stoned and just one quarter into the 2013 NFL season, but we have seen more than enough to confidently assume these six AFC teams will make this year’s postseason. (more…)