by Tommy Gimler
Quarterback E.J. Manuel, this year’s first-round reach of the Buffalo Bills, told SiriusXM Radio Sunday that learning the Bills’ offense has been easier than learning the offense he ran at Florida State. Oh shit… (more…)
All the AFC East posts:
The New York Jets Are The Standard Definition Of Epic Failure
by Jeff Nelson
If you like media stories that have been beaten to death, buried, exhumed, and shot in the rear with a blunderbuss, then this article is for you. (more…)
Who Is The Most Annoying Professional Athlete?
by Tommy Gimler
ESPN is giving you yet another reason to locate the mute button on your remote. Now that he has played his last NFL game, Ray Lewis will be joining the four-letter as an analyst, meaning he’ll instantly become the second most unintelligible former player on your television next to Shannon Sharpe. But now that the most annoying player in American professional sports has called it quits, who is out there to take the crown from Lewis? Well, not take. They’ll have to ask nicely so he doesn’t stab them. Anyway, The DUD is here to break that down. (more…)
Analyzing The Ramblings Of An Absolute Dipshit: Phil Simms Edition
by Tommy Gimler
If you’re finding it difficult to follow along with CBS’ coverage of the AFC Championship Game today, don’t even think about blaming the Evan Williams and Diet Rite in your left hand or the silo of Schlitz in your right. Of course the game isn’t in England. It’s in New England. You’re just questioning yourself because you heard Phil Simms say it was in the old country. (more…)
How The “Experts” Are Picking The Championship Games
by Tommy Gimler
I had a friend tell me that I should write an article today on Manti Te’o being a homosexual, but I told him much like Lance Armstrong admitting he took every PED known to man, that it wouldn’t be news. (more…)
Put Your Rupees On Falcons And Patriots For No Good Reason, Bro
by Rakesh The Intern
Check it out, bro. These two American football games this weekend remind me of my bipolar ex-girlfriend Kavya back in Howrah, my friend. One day she show up all beautiful and shit, bro, and next day she look like Rosie O’Donnell and empty my fridge. Sad shit, bro. And these games are same way. No matter what research you do, you can find reason for every team to win, bro. Time to flip my lucky rupee coin that actually exists, unlike Manti Te’o's dead girly, to see what will happen, buddy. (more…)
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