Category Archives: NFL

The Bills And Jets Should Do Us All A Favor And Not Play At All

NFL: Buffalo Bills-Winter Storm Scenes

by Frank Rhombus

Fuck postponing this game or moving it to some other shithole in the Northeast. The Bills and Jets should just refrain from playing Sunday’s game, so we can all spend the rest of our NFL weekend living like Charlie Sheen: WINNING!

This Is The Week To Bet Against Kansas City And Make Bookie Your Bitch, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

Listen, bro. This goddamn Chiefs team is really cutting into the Rupee I have stashed to side for Christmas presents this year, my friend. They have now cover spread for like nine straight games, boss. But even though shit from pig Raiders team is their next opponent, now is not the time to jump boat, bro. Rakesh say load and lock up on the Raiders with the points, my friend.

The Adam Feuerberg Semi-Annual Report On Two Teams The Rest Of Us Couldn’t Give Two Shits About

miami

by Adam Feuerberg

So yes, I know that I’ve been the absolute worst about sitting down and writing again. I know that at the beginning of the season, I promised that I’d return with all my passion and fury that you come to expect from a pissed off Cowboys fan. Then, suddenly, the Cowboys ended up tied for 1st place after 11 weeks. I know that for some silly reason, they’re listed as 2nd in spite of having the same 7-3 record as the Eagles, but the two teams haven’t even played yet so who cares? Tied for 1st baby!

Remember Before Geno Smith When Jets Fans Thought Mark Sanchez Was the Worst QB Ever?

sanchez

by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching Mark Sanchez’s Panther-stomping the other night, and hearing all that praise for the kicked-to-the-curb former Jet, I couldn’t help but wonder how many Jets fans were wishing they hadn’t hoped Sanchez would get kicked to the curb in the first place.

Rakesh Is Back In Vegas With Football Picks That Will Give Bookie Ulcer, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. You might look at the shit from pig betting week I have last week and say, “This Rakesh is colder than witch tit.” But when you bet against trends and they don’t hit, all that means is that you can double up and win ever more Rupee the next week, my friend.

Patriots Thank “IHATENlGGERSS” For Helping Them Reach One Million Twitter Followers

wow

by Frank Rhombus

We’re pretty sure Vince Wilfork didn’t send that tweet.

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