Category Archives: NFL

Eddie Bagelstein’s Top Five Reasons the Broncos Are America’s Top Team

broncos

by Eddie Bagelstein

As a hardened journalist, it’s important for me to be fair and unbiased. Just because I’m a lifelong Broncos fan doesn’t mean I’m going to post lies and propaganda in the hopes of having more people like my team… no, I take that back; I would if it meant more money for free agents, which it probably does.

Rakesh Says This Is The Week To Take Home Mad Rupee Betting On Football, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. Last week was big kick in penis thanks to West Virginia hitting 55-yard field goal instead of going to overtime so over could hit. But like my Uncle Omkar used to say, “Rakesh, you can’t win them all, bro, but you can always hit your wife.” He’s in jail now for beating Aunt Tanvi, my friend. Sick fuck, bro.

7 Things We Know After Week 6 Of The NFL

mike nugent missed OT field goal

by Tommy Gimler

Fucking kickers, man.

Some Bitch Stole This Veteran’s Prosthetic Leg At The Eagles Game Last Night

prosthetic leg stolen

by Frank Rhombus

Jesus fuck, man. What did she do for an encore, push a kid down a flight of stairs so she could get her paws on a two-dollar T-shirt that an Eagles ambassador threw into the stands?

Rakesh’s Ass Is On Fire From Bad Taco Meat And Winning So Many Football Bets, Bro

Rakesh

by Rakesh the Intern

I’m telling you, bro. After hitting five of six game last week, I didn’t think my ass could get more on fire, bro. But then I go to this Taco Bell near Daily Upper Decker headquarter, and I will beg to disagree now, bro. Something like six shits yesterday, my friend. But even though Rakesh has spent more time on crapper than at dinner table since Tuesday, that doesn’t mean he has not had time to make your bookie your bitch again this weekend, bro.

10 Things We Know After Week 5 Of The NFL

ebola

by Tommy Gimler

The Jaguars have yet to cover the spread, the Saints are in a shit ton of trouble, and Thursday night games can eat my ass.

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