Category Archives: Dallas Mavericks

New Dallas Mavericks Stud Dennis Smith Jr. Once Tweeted About ‘Slangin’ His Wood

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by Tommy Gimler

It appears as though last night’s ninth overall pick is talented both on and off the hardwood.

Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny

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by Frank Rhombus

Apparently getting skinny this summer is becoming almost as trendy among NBA players as fucking Carmelo Anthony’s wife. In fact, Carmelo himself became the latest baller to post a skinny pic of himself on Instagram today.

Sunday Night Funnies

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by Tommy Gimler

Our new DUD series Sunday Night Funnies debuts with five short shots at some of the haps of a wild sports weekend, and it’s awesome, brah. We’ll even go as far to say it’ll be funnier than Schindler’s List, and that’s a fucking guarantee…

The Miami Heat Will 3-Peat So Tell Me Something Else About The NBA Playoffs DUDcast

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by Tommy Gimler, Barry Murphy, and Mandatory’s Gary Dudak

We get together for a podcast almost as often as Melissa McCarthy sheds a few pounds, so when we actually take the time to gather around the kitchen table with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label and 18 retro cans of Miller Lite and talk some shop, you know it’s going to be a winner.

You Think We’re Sick? The Mavericks-Clippers Halftime Show Tonight Featured Retards Playing Full Court 5-On-5

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by Frank Rhombus

If you want an entertaining NBA halftime show in your arena, then put a Chinese broad on a unicycle while she balances dishes. Put some trampolines underneath the baskets so a couple of gymnast queers can pull off some sick dunks. Hell, put a couple of puppies at center court and let them take turns eating their own shit for Christ’s sake. But 5-on-5 hoops between kids who can’t tie their shoes and spend half the day smelling their hands that they just pulled from their asses? Damn, girlfriend.

Semi-Bold Predictions For The NBA Playoffs

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by Dave Iacch “The Voice of No Reason,” J.P. “The Big Dipper,” and t.i. “the little dipper”

 

- The Philadelphia 76ers might as well be called the 69ers because they are going to suck until their playoff run poops in their mouth.
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