Category Archives: Miami Heat

San Antonio Vs. Miami: A Closer, More Disgusting Look

miami

by Tommy Gimler

Usually when we take a closer look at the two cities battling for a major sports championship, the filthier, more crime-ridden city pulls it out. Then again, we’ve only done this once before, and it was for a league that wasn’t fixed.

The Miami Heat Have Won More Games Than The Miami Marlins Since April 21st

Marlins

by Tommy Gimler

We’ve established hundreds of times now that it doesn’t get any more pathetic than Taylor Swift. Not even the Goo Goo Dolls, Jonas Brothers, or Chicago Cubs could dethrone that talentless cunt. But the Miami Marlins have been so pig shit awful since April 21st that they are coming dangerously close. In fact, they have been so bad that the Miami Heat have recorded more victories over that time period even though they have played in 14 less games.

Think Your Wife Is A Crazy Bitch? Check Out This Broad

crazy bitch

by Tommy Gimler

Last night’s fourth quarter of the Heat-Bulls game was as exciting as it gets during a 37-point blowout. Upset with the pig shit referees, who more than ensured that Miami would not go to Chicago in an 0-2 hole, both Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson were ejected at the 10:13 mark for arguing with them. And while Gibson’s f-bomb laden escort from the court was well worth waiting for instead changing the channel for some late-night Skinemax, it was this picture from Deadspin of this crazy bitch flipping off Noah heading to the locker room that has everybody talking (well, except Stephen Hawking):

LeBron Is The MVP, But Who Was The Worst Player Of The 2012-13 NBA Season?

LeBron James

by Tommy Gimler

ESPN is reporting that LeBron James will be named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player Sunday for the fourth time in his career. Then again, it’s ESPN we’re talking about here, and they are citing unnamed sources, so it probably means that the real MVP will be Tiago Splitter.

DUDcast: The Miami Heat Will Repeat So Tell Me Something Else About The NBA Playoffs

Miami Heat Championship

by Tommy Gimler and Barry Murphy

The Daily Upper Decker’s NBA expert is Barry Murphy. Tommy Gimler thinks it’s a fixed sport. Putting these two together to talk about the NBA playoffs made about as much sense as ordering Barely Legal 15 in your hotel room when the internet connection was free.

Breaking Down TMZ’s Video Of Lil Wayne Saying He Fucked Chris Bosh’s Wife

lil wayne chris bosh wife

by Tommy Gimler

Lil Wayne was banned from all NBA functions last week, but that didn’t stop him from making an appearance last night in the shithole known as Houston. That’s where Wayne went on a somewhat intelligible rant about the NBA and Miami Heat. Oh, and sticking his penis inside Chris Bosh’s wife.

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