by Tommy Gimler
We’ve established hundreds of times now that it doesn’t get any more pathetic than Taylor Swift. Not even the Goo Goo Dolls, Jonas Brothers, or Chicago Cubs could dethrone that talentless cunt. But the Miami Marlins have been so pig shit awful since April 21st that they are coming dangerously close. In fact, they have been so bad that the Miami Heat have recorded more victories over that time period even though they have played in 14 less games. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
Last night’s fourth quarter of the Heat-Bulls game was as exciting as it gets during a 37-point blowout. Upset with the pig shit referees, who more than ensured that Miami would not go to Chicago in an 0-2 hole, both Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson were ejected at the 10:13 mark for arguing with them. And while Gibson’s f-bomb laden escort from the court was well worth waiting for instead changing the channel for some late-night Skinemax, it was this picture from Deadspin of this crazy bitch flipping off Noah heading to the locker room that has everybody talking (well, except Stephen Hawking): (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
ESPN is reporting that LeBron James will be named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player Sunday for the fourth time in his career. Then again, it’s ESPN we’re talking about here, and they are citing unnamed sources, so it probably means that the real MVP will be Tiago Splitter. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler and Barry Murphy
The Daily Upper Decker’s NBA expert is Barry Murphy. Tommy Gimler thinks it’s a fixed sport. Putting these two together to talk about the NBA playoffs made about as much sense as ordering Barely Legal 15 in your hotel room when the internet connection was free. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
Lil Wayne was banned from all NBA functions last week, but that didn’t stop him from making an appearance last night in the shithole known as Houston. That’s where Wayne went on a somewhat intelligible rant about the NBA and Miami Heat. Oh, and sticking his penis inside Chris Bosh’s wife. (more…)
by Tommy Gimler
You might not have seen Dwyane Wade intentionally kick Ramon Sessions in his luggage last night because ESPN was too busy running the breaking news story of third-string quarterback Tim Tebow defending his character. Luckily for you, when one professional athlete kicks another one in his giblets, it doesn’t get past The DUD. (more…)
{ Yup, as long as those people aren't made of meat... } – May 22, 9:46 AM
{ Prince Fielder will down that many Cuban pastries and the person who ate them; in one sitting of course..... } – May 22, 1:41 AM { You're a silly little cunt hair, Mr. Santos... } – May 20, 6:03 PM { The Bills don't suck because they run a simple west coast offense, they suck because they draft players like E J Manuel in the first... } – May 20, 10:30 AM
{ Suck on a cheese curd, EJ is gonna dissapoint you like you dissapointed your wifes parents when you married her and light it up this... } – May 19, 10:49 PM
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