Category Archives: Sacramento Kings

Shoutout To The Sacramento Kings For Wishing Anthony Tolliver A Happy Birthday And Then Releasing Him

anthony tolliver

by Tommy Gimler

Happy birthday! Now drop your drawers so we can kick you in the dick.

Vlade Divac Really Shoved It Up Kings Fans’ Peeholes When He Said He Passed Up A Better Offer For DeMarcus Cousins

vlade divac demarcus cousins trade

by Frank Rhombus

Of course, any deal other than the one the Kings accepted from New Orleans would likely fall under the “better” category. I mean, was there no way to throw in an Anthony Davis used condom?

Start Your Monday Off By Watching Boogie Cousins Get His Dick And Balls Grabbed By Buddy Hield

demarcus cousins buddy hield

by Tommy Gimler

Yeah, I’ll venture a guess that DeMarcus wasn’t there to finish the pick and roll this time around.

A Woman At The Hornets-Kings Game Got Smoked In The Face By A Basketball

woman hit in face with basketball

by Tommy Gimler

Sorry, ma’am. When you have front row seats to an NBA game, you have to make a decision before you enter the arena: Do you want to watch the fucking game, or do you want to play Candy Crush?

Look At This Fucking Guy

sim bhullar

by Tommy Gimler

Our Indian intern Rakesh told us there were no NBA players of Indian descent before Sim Bhullar because guys in India spend all of their time playing cricket, billiards, and badminton. And even guys who grow to be as big as Bhullar usually become elephant handlers instead of basketball players.

Jason Collins Announces He Is Gay. Where Will He Play Next?

jason collins gay

by Tommy Gimler

Sports Illustrated is in line to make some serious cash money when their magazine hits newsstands this week, and that’s because they are running an exclusive story on Jason Collins, the first active athlete in the four major American team sports to announce his homosexuality.

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