Category Archives: Philadelphia 76ers

This Papa John’s Promotion Perfectly Illustrates How Pathetic The Philadelphia 76ers Are This Year

sad 76ers fan

by Tommy Gimler

It’s not like the 76ers needed an embarrassing Papa John’s promotion to illustrate how pig shit awful they are, but it sure as shit won’t be boosting team morale any time soon.

It Looks Like Joel Embiid And His Shitty Foot Are Going To Miss This Season Too

Philadelphia 76ers V Boston Celtics

by Frank Rhombus

We have good and bad news for Philadelphia sports fans. The good news is that it looks as though the Phillies aren’t going to be the most pathetic sports franchise in America this year. The bad news is that it’s probably going to be the 76ers.

A Bum Has Licked My Asshole More Times Than The 76ers Have Posted A ‘W’ In The Last Two Months

76ers losing streak

by Frank Rhombus

The Philadelphia 76ers were curb stomped by the Houston Rockets tonight to the tune of 120-98, tying an NBA record in the process by losing their 26th consecutive game. Being a 76ers fan right now has to be about as enjoyable as the time I shit out a roll of quarters in college after a dare. Hey, they said I could keep the money if I did it, but the most troubling part of that episode was that when it was all said and done, I only made $9.25 that night.

Signs Your Franchise, Just Like Corey Feldman, Has Hit Rock Bottom

corey feldman

by Tommy Gimler

Corey Feldman hasn’t been relevant since Reagan was in office. Well, except for the day that Corey Haim died. That’s when for just a couple of seconds you looked at the guy in the cube next to you and asked, “Whatever happened to that other fucking loser, Corey Feldman?” Other than that, Feldman’s appeared in a few reality television shows and outside the 7-Eleven on Fairfax begging for meth. That’s what we call rock bottom, and that’s where these sports franchises currently find themselves.

Semi-Bold Predictions For The NBA Playoffs

dolan

by Dave Iacch “The Voice of No Reason,” J.P. “The Big Dipper,” and t.i. “the little dipper”

 

- The Philadelphia 76ers might as well be called the 69ers because they are going to suck until their playoff run poops in their mouth.

Scoring King

wilt

by Tommy Gimler

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point effort against the New York Knicks. And while the other media outlets celebrate that number today, The DUD is going to honor Wilt for reaching the more impressive record of 20,000 broads.

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