Category Archives: Philadelphia 76ers

Joel Embiid Will Be ‘The Phantom Of The Process’ During The NBA Postseason

joel embiid mask

by Tommy Gimler

I’ll be honest. It looks a hell of a lot better than the mask they gave Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.

Allen Iverson Was On Some Good Shit At Last Night’s 76ers-Hornets Game

allen Iverson high

by Tommy Gimler

Was it 12 cans of Schlitz or the best herb south of the Mason-Dixon Line? The world may never know.

Joel Embiid Wants To Be An All-Star Just So He Can Hump Rihanna

embiid-rihanna

by Tommy Gimler

Don’t we all, buddy.

Dikembe Mutombo Proved Once Again Last Night That Everything In The NBA Is More Fixed Than My Wife’s Purse Dog

mutomboleak

by Frank Rhombus

There are now three things we know about former NBA center Dikembe Mutombo: He sounds like Grover fucked Doctor Claw, he used to walk into clubs near Georgetown and yell, “Who wants to sex Mutombo?”, and he knew that the 76ers won the NBA Draft Lottery about four hours before everybody else did last night.

Just When You Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse For The 76ers

76ers Nuggets buzzer beater

by Frank Rhombus

Jesus Christ. Who does Joel Embiid have to blow for the Sixers to reach double digits in the win column this year?

This Papa John’s Promotion Perfectly Illustrates How Pathetic The Philadelphia 76ers Are This Year

sad 76ers fan

by Tommy Gimler

It’s not like the 76ers needed an embarrassing Papa John’s promotion to illustrate how pig shit awful they are, but it sure as shit won’t be boosting team morale any time soon.

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