Category Archives: NBA

Welcome to the NBA Steve Ballmer, Now Shut the Fuck Up

Internet And Technology Leaders Address Web 2.0 Summit 2011

by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching this video of new Clippers owner Steve Ballmer going absolutely ape-shit nutzo at a rally for his new team, I immediately concluded the following: We’re going to be seeing way too much of this fucking guy. Doesn’t he remind you of a bigger, balder Mark Cuban, the league’s most annoyingly fired up billionaire cheerleader?

Look At This Fucking Guy

sim bhullar

by Tommy Gimler

Our Indian intern Rakesh told us there were no NBA players of Indian descent before Sim Bhullar because guys in India spend all of their time playing cricket, billiards, and badminton. And even guys who grow to be as big as Bhullar usually become elephant handlers instead of basketball players.

Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny

LeBron-James-skinny

by Frank Rhombus

Apparently getting skinny this summer is becoming almost as trendy among NBA players as fucking Carmelo Anthony’s wife. In fact, Carmelo himself became the latest baller to post a skinny pic of himself on Instagram today.

The 5 Most Disgusting American Sports Injuries Of All-Time

paul george

by Tommy Gimler

Don’t want your kid to play sports? Then boy, do we have the article for you! Eating breakfast? You might want to go elsewhere.

Here’s A Reminder Of What Dan Gilbert Said About LeBron James When He Left Cleveland For South Beach Four Years Ago

LeBron Decision Ohio Basketball

by Tommy Gimler

The internet has a huge boner right now, as there are many signs pointing to LeBron James returning to Cleveland to “rescue” that shitty franchise and take them to the promised land. But just like Brian Portz, those reports might be a bit premature, as a request for extra cops outside of LeBron’s home in Bath Township might just mean they want to make sure people don’t burn it down after he announces his return to Miami.

ESPN’s Tom Penn Thinks The Miami Heats’s Addition Of Shabazz Napier Will Keep It Going In “South Bitch”

Tom Penn ESPN South Bitch

by Tommy Gimler

If that’s really what it’s called, then we finally get why mega-bitch Dwyane Wade loves playing there so much.

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