Category Archives: NBA

Porn Star Says She’ll Blow Entire Lakers Team If They Win 47 Games

sadie santana

by Tommy Gimler

If you’re looking for the perfect statement to summarize just how far the once mighty Lakers have fallen, that should do it.

Lock And Load: The DUD’s Can’t Miss NBA Over/Under Bets

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by Barry Murphy

BUFFALO BILL’S CASINO, PRIMM, NV – It’s NBA Over/Under time, my friends. Now, you may be thinking, why are you at Buffalo Bill’s, Murf?  Timing.  Vegas is all about get in and get out.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized a simple fact… don’t be in that place any longer then you need to be. So as you read this, I’ll be sneaking into the kitchen at the Mirage, like a chubby Irish ninja, through the back hall and into the sports book. If all goes well, I’ll be out of there in 11 minutes.

DUD Investigation: Is A.C. Green Still a Virgin?

ac green virgin

by Eddie Bagelstein

For no apparent reason, I was wondering if A.C. Green ever got laid. I had no idea. I remembered he was a highly publicized virgin who had to fight off bitches galore, being not just a member of the Showtime Lakers but also one with a Jheri curl. But I had no memory of A.C. publicly getting laid. And I was concerned he might have finally imploded. So it seemed like a great opportunity for an Eddie Bagelstein Google Inquiry.

Welcome to the NBA Steve Ballmer, Now Shut the Fuck Up

Internet And Technology Leaders Address Web 2.0 Summit 2011

by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching this video of new Clippers owner Steve Ballmer going absolutely ape-shit nutzo at a rally for his new team, I immediately concluded the following: We’re going to be seeing way too much of this fucking guy. Doesn’t he remind you of a bigger, balder Mark Cuban, the league’s most annoyingly fired up billionaire cheerleader?

Look At This Fucking Guy

sim bhullar

by Tommy Gimler

Our Indian intern Rakesh told us there were no NBA players of Indian descent before Sim Bhullar because guys in India spend all of their time playing cricket, billiards, and badminton. And even guys who grow to be as big as Bhullar usually become elephant handlers instead of basketball players.

Here Are Three More NBA Players Who Should Think About Getting Skinny

LeBron-James-skinny

by Frank Rhombus

Apparently getting skinny this summer is becoming almost as trendy among NBA players as fucking Carmelo Anthony’s wife. In fact, Carmelo himself became the latest baller to post a skinny pic of himself on Instagram today.

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