Category Archives: Colorado Rockies

Every National League Team’s 2018 Preview In Two Sentences Or Less

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by Tommy Gimler

Bad news for Pirates and Padres fans, as your teams blow.

Here’s A Preview Of Every NL West Team In Two Sentences Or Less

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by Tommy Gimler

Look, we get it. Reading sucks. That’s why we’ve also included a few pictures of female fans with huge tits.

Trevor Story Hits 7th Home Run, Can Plow My Sister

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by Tommy Gimler

The list of the top ten guys who have permission to run a train on my sister is usually loaded with athletes who have not committed a rape and have been making bitches out of their peers for a number of years now.

2016 NL West Preview

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by Rakesh the Intern

Our apologies to Dodgers fans, bro, as we’re going to write this preview in English, my friend.

2015 NL West Preview

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by Tommy Gimler

The good news for Padres fans is that they just landed baseball’s best closer in Craig Kimbrel. The bad news is that they also just landed baseball’s worst player in Melvin Upton, Jr.

The Top 5 MLB First Half Fantasy DUDs

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by Tommy Gimler

Matthew Berry and Eric Karabell are huge fucking dorks at the four-letter, and they told you to draft these guys before the 2014 MLB season started. But odds are if you still have these turds on your fantasy baseball team, you’re almost as far away from winning a championship as Danica Patrick is from winning a race on American soil.

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