Category Archives: San Diego Padres

Every National League Team’s 2018 Preview In Two Sentences Or Less

yelich

by Tommy Gimler

Bad news for Pirates and Padres fans, as your teams blow.

A Pirates Fan Got Drilled In The Nuts By A Home Run Friday Night

pirates fan hit in balls by home run

by Tommy Gimler

An “unfortunate place,” indeed.

Here’s A Preview Of Every NL West Team In Two Sentences Or Less

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by Tommy Gimler

Look, we get it. Reading sucks. That’s why we’ve also included a few pictures of female fans with huge tits.

Give Any Upton Brother Millions Of Dollars And They’ll Give You A Dick Sandwich

justin upton strikeouts

by Tommy Gimler

The 2016 MLB season might be younger than the kid who makes my boxer briefs, but it looks as though another Upton brother is showing the world he is nothing more than an overpaid pile of dog shit.

2016 NL West Preview

zack greinke dbacks

by Rakesh the Intern

Our apologies to Dodgers fans, bro, as we’re going to write this preview in English, my friend.

2015 NL West Preview

new padres

by Tommy Gimler

The good news for Padres fans is that they just landed baseball’s best closer in Craig Kimbrel. The bad news is that they also just landed baseball’s worst player in Melvin Upton, Jr.

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