All the NL West posts:

The Arizona Diamondbacks Are Fucking Terrible

Published by tgim on April 17th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, they’re just 1/9 of the way into their season, but at 4-14, the Arizona Diamondbacks are off to their worst start in franchise history, and that’s saying something since their squad in 2004 was so pig shit awful that they lost 111 games. (more…)

DUD MLB Preview: NL West Projected Standings

Published by rhombus on March 30th, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

The Dodgers are 1-to-3 favorites to win the NL West this year, so there’s as much value in making that bet as there is in trying to have an emotional relationship with Lindsay Lohan. The Dodgers are probably going to win the division, but it’s going to be a lot closer than most people think, with the Dbacks, Giants, and Padres all sniffing their ass at the finish line… (more…)

2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers

Published by tgim on February 18th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with R. Kelly. Well, unless for some reason he doesn’t piss on you. (more…)

Yasiel Puig’s Autograph Is The Most Forged Among Current Athletes

Published by tgim on December 23rd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

According to, no current athlete had his autograph forged more often in 2013 than Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig. Meanwhile, the most forged autograph among former athletes with Parkinson’s continues to be Muhammad Ali. (more…)

The DUD Hands Out Their MLB Hardware

Published by tgim on October 31st, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

We’ll let Tim Kurkjian calculate who is this year’s National League MVP from his grandma’s basement. But if you’re looking for awards like “Player Who Took Down The Hottest Piece Of Trim,” then you’ve come to the right place. (more…)

Just Like David Freese, These Guys Were Worthless Turds Until The Postseason Rolled Around

Published by tgim on October 10th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

For the sixth time since 2004, the St. Louis Cardinals are heading to the NLCS, due in large part to Adam Wainwright being the anti-Tony Romo and hurling a gutsy nine-inning gem last night that brought an end to Pittsburgh’s storybook season. But it was third baseman David Freese who once again got things rolling with a two-run bomb in the second inning that was all the offense the Redbirds would need. (more…)