Category Archives: Washington Nationals

If You Know How To Read, This Is Probably The Funniest NL East Preview You’ll See

AP ROCKIES NATIONALS BASEBALL S BBN USA DC

by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the only thing more fucked up than how the Atlanta Braves dicked over the people and nearby businesses in Cumberland last year was Jose Fernandez behind the wheel of a boat.

The NL East Will Suck Big Goat Dick In 2016, Bro

sad phillies phanatic

by Rakesh the Intern

I’ll tell you something, bro. Some of these teams have bigger problems than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion.

Some Fat Fuck Nationals Fan With An Arm In A Sling And A Walking Cane Robbed A Bank

fat nationals fan robs bank

by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the Nationals’ shitty play is making their fans do crazy things these days like rob banks. Well, by the looks of things, it could have been a lack of Hungry Man meals in this fat fuck’s freezer and a lack of funds to pay for them that drove him to bank robbery, but our point should be clear: The Washington Nationals are fucking garbage.

The Washington Nationals Are A Goddamn Embarrassment

harper ejected

by Tommy Gimler

When you have the National League’s best hitter and second-best starting pitcher surrounded by a flurry of young talent and seasoned veterans yet find yourself 1.5 games behind the New York Mets in what is easily baseball’s worst division, then it’s official: You are a bigger disaster than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face.

Some Asshole Was Knitting At Last Night’s Brewers-Nationals Game

asshole knitting at brewers game

by Frank Rhombus

Just so we’re straight (unlike this fucking guy), I can’t bring a plastic bottle of water into the ballpark if the seal has been broken, but this fucking clown can bring in two knitting needles that could be used to stab a player or poke another fan’s eyes out when they try to make a play on a foul ball? That’s terrific.

So, How Much Sand Is In Stephen Strasburg’s Vagina These Days?

stephen strasburg sucks

by Frank Rhombus

Remember when Stephen Strasburg wasn’t such a huge pussy?

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