Category Archives: NL East

A Local Fan’s View Of The Pig Shit Awful Phillies

the phillies are terrible

by Schroeder

If the Milwaukee Brewers actually pull off a sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies tonight, it will be the nastiest broom the sports world has seen since the one that was shoved up a Johnson Creek wrestler’s balloon knot in 1992.

Mets Fans Are Also Pure Dog Shit When It Comes To Grammar

huge mets loser

by Tommy Gimler

God damn, Mets fans can’t seem to catch a break. What’s next? Are we going to find out next week that Mr. Met fathered dozens of illegitimate baseballs?

Some Asshole Was Knitting At Last Night’s Brewers-Nationals Game

asshole knitting at brewers game

by Frank Rhombus

Just so we’re straight (unlike this fucking guy), I can’t bring a plastic bottle of water into the ballpark if the seal has been broken, but this fucking clown can bring in two knitting needles that could be used to stab a player or poke another fan’s eyes out when they try to make a play on a foul ball? That’s terrific.

So, How Much Sand Is In Stephen Strasburg’s Vagina These Days?

stephen strasburg sucks

by Frank Rhombus

Remember when Stephen Strasburg wasn’t such a huge pussy?

Bryce Harper Is Hotter Than Charlotte McKinney Eating Chocolate Ganache Out of Kate Upton’s Asshole

bryce harper on fire

by Tommy Gimler

Even the most casual of baseball fans knows that Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper is on fire this month. It’s just that nobody has said it as eloquently as us.

The Mets Are Hotter Than Charlotte McKinney Scissoring Kate Upton At Your Mom’s House


by Tommy Gimler

Bartolo Colon is 4-0 for the first time in his career, and he’s been pitching since Bill Clinton was harassing interns in the White House. That’s how good things are going for the New York Mets right now.

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