Category Archives: NL East

Give Any Upton Brother Millions Of Dollars And They’ll Give You A Dick Sandwich

justin upton strikeouts

by Tommy Gimler

The 2016 MLB season might be younger than the kid who makes my boxer briefs, but it looks as though another Upton brother is showing the world he is nothing more than an overpaid pile of dog shit.

Matt Harvey Offers Up A Friendly Reminder That When You Have To Take A Piss, You Should Take A Piss

matt harvey

by Frank Rhombus

Dear fourth-grade teacher who wouldn’t let me leave our science lesson to go use the john: Fuck you.

The NL East Will Suck Big Goat Dick In 2016, Bro

sad phillies phanatic

by Rakesh the Intern

I’ll tell you something, bro. Some of these teams have bigger problems than Uncle Kunal, and we once caught that guy fucking goat at family reunion.

Imagine How Awesome The MLB Postseason Would Be If Baseball And Its Umpires Weren’t So Fucking Retarded

nlds game 2 slide

by Frank Rhombus

Imagine how awesome Major League Baseball would be if they had instant replay. Then they would never get any calls wrong. Oh wait…

Some Fat Fuck Nationals Fan With An Arm In A Sling And A Walking Cane Robbed A Bank

fat nationals fan robs bank

by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the Nationals’ shitty play is making their fans do crazy things these days like rob banks. Well, by the looks of things, it could have been a lack of Hungry Man meals in this fat fuck’s freezer and a lack of funds to pay for them that drove him to bank robbery, but our point should be clear: The Washington Nationals are fucking garbage.

The Washington Nationals Are A Goddamn Embarrassment

harper ejected

by Tommy Gimler

When you have the National League’s best hitter and second-best starting pitcher surrounded by a flurry of young talent and seasoned veterans yet find yourself 1.5 games behind the New York Mets in what is easily baseball’s worst division, then it’s official: You are a bigger disaster than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face.

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