Category Archives: NL East

Some Fat Fuck Nationals Fan With An Arm In A Sling And A Walking Cane Robbed A Bank

fat nationals fan robs bank

by Frank Rhombus

It turns out the Nationals’ shitty play is making their fans do crazy things these days like rob banks. Well, by the looks of things, it could have been a lack of Hungry Man meals in this fat fuck’s freezer and a lack of funds to pay for them that drove him to bank robbery, but our point should be clear: The Washington Nationals are fucking garbage.

The Washington Nationals Are A Goddamn Embarrassment

harper ejected

by Tommy Gimler

When you have the National League’s best hitter and second-best starting pitcher surrounded by a flurry of young talent and seasoned veterans yet find yourself 1.5 games behind the New York Mets in what is easily baseball’s worst division, then it’s official: You are a bigger disaster than Sarah Jessica Parker’s face.

Was Chris Mortensen’s Shitty DeflateGate Source Really A Former Jets Employee?

chris mortnesen mike kensil

by Tommy Gimler

At this point, it seems as though the four-letter has almost as much journalistic integrity as Kathie Lee Gifford’s bush.

A Local Fan’s View Of The Pig Shit Awful Phillies

the phillies are terrible

by Schroeder

If the Milwaukee Brewers actually pull off a sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies tonight, it will be the nastiest broom the sports world has seen since the one that was shoved up a Johnson Creek wrestler’s balloon knot in 1992.

Mets Fans Are Also Pure Dog Shit When It Comes To Grammar

huge mets loser

by Tommy Gimler

God damn, Mets fans can’t seem to catch a break. What’s next? Are we going to find out next week that Mr. Met fathered dozens of illegitimate baseballs?

Some Asshole Was Knitting At Last Night’s Brewers-Nationals Game

asshole knitting at brewers game

by Frank Rhombus

Just so we’re straight (unlike this fucking guy), I can’t bring a plastic bottle of water into the ballpark if the seal has been broken, but this fucking clown can bring in two knitting needles that could be used to stab a player or poke another fan’s eyes out when they try to make a play on a foul ball? That’s terrific.

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