Category Archives: St. Louis Cardinals

Here’s A Preview Of Every NL Central Team In Two Sentences Or Less

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by Tommy Gimler

I have a better shot at fingering Kate Upton in the Tigers clubhouse than the Brewers do at finishing with a winning record this year.

Cubs Fire Second String DJ After The Douche Plays ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ As Aroldis Chapman Leaves The Mound

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by Tommy Gimler

I mean, what’s next, using “Two Pina Coladas” for Shin-Soo Choo’s walk-up music? Playing “Rock You Like A Hurricane” during Saints pregame drills a week or two after the next time New Orleans gets ravaged by a hurricane?

Look How Much Fun They’re Having At St. Louis Cardinals Games These Days

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by Frank Rhombus

Cardinals fans love to brag about how their fan base is not only the greatest in all of baseball but also in all of sports.

So You Probably Don’t Want To Fuck This Guy

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by Frank Rhombus

Being on the wrong end of a 6-1 curb stomping yesterday is probably the least of Carlos Martinez’s worries right now.

Banning ‘Try Not To Suck’ Shirts At Busch Stadium Is Yet Another Reason Why The Cardinals Can Eat A Dick

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by Tommy Gimler

The pussification of America continues.

The St. Louis Cardinals Look Old And Terrible

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by Tommy Gimler

Sure, the 2016 MLB season is younger than a girl Roman Polanski likes to rape, but the St. Louis Cardinals left a lot to be desired after getting swept in Pittsburgh to start the year.

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