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Category Archives: Pittsburgh Pirates

The Pittsburgh Pirates Front Office Once Again Shoves Their Fist Up Joe Pirates Fan’s Ass

July 31, 2014 MLB, NL Central, Pittsburgh Pirates No comments

by Tommy Gimler

Sooner or later, the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to have to show their fans that they’re actually in the business of winning. And by sitting with their thumbs up their asses yet again today while teams around them proved to their fans that they are actually interested in bringing home a World Series title, the Pirates front office continued their long tradition of tolerating failure.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

July 1, 2014 AL Central, AL East, AL West, Arizona Diamondbacks, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Oakland Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals No comments

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

DUD MLB Preview: NL Central Projected Standings

March 29, 2014 Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, NL Central, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals No comments

by Tommy Gimler

Quick. Without looking, name the three starting outfielders for the 2014 Chicago Cubs. Yeah, it’s that bad on the North Side.

2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers

February 18, 2014 AL Central, AL East, AL West, Arizona Diamondbacks, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Oakland Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals 3 Comments

by Tommy Gimler

The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with R. Kelly. Well, unless for some reason he doesn’t piss on you.

Finally Some Good News For Cubs Fans: MLB.com Releases Top 100 Prospects List

January 25, 2014 AL Central, AL East, AL West, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Houston Astros, LA Angels of Anaheim, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, NL Central, Pittsburgh Pirates No comments

by Frank Rhombus

Great news for Cubs, Astros, and Twins fans! Your teams are going to suck something fierce again this year, but according to MLB.com’s Top 100 Prospects list, your future is looking a whole hell of a lot brighter than Vince Young’s.

Just Like David Freese, These Guys Were Worthless Turds Until The Postseason Rolled Around

October 10, 2013 AL East, Atlanta Braves, Boston Red Sox, Crap, Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals No comments

by Tommy Gimler

For the sixth time since 2004, the St. Louis Cardinals are heading to the NLCS, due in large part to Adam Wainwright being the anti-Tony Romo and hurling a gutsy nine-inning gem last night that brought an end to Pittsburgh’s storybook season. But it was third baseman David Freese who once again got things rolling with a two-run bomb in the second inning that was all the offense the Redbirds would need.