Category Archives: Pittsburgh Pirates

The Pittsburgh Pirates Front Office Once Again Shoves Their Fist Up Joe Pirates Fan’s Ass

dejected pirates fans

by Tommy Gimler

Sooner or later, the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to have to show their fans that they’re actually in the business of winning. And by sitting with their thumbs up their asses yet again today while teams around them proved to their fans that they are actually interested in bringing home a World Series title, the Pirates front office continued their long tradition of tolerating failure.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

DUD MLB Preview: NL Central Projected Standings


by Tommy Gimler

Quick. Without looking, name the three starting outfielders for the 2014 Chicago Cubs. Yeah, it’s that bad on the North Side.

2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers

2014 Dodgers over under win total 93.5

by Tommy Gimler

The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with R. Kelly. Well, unless for some reason he doesn’t piss on you.

Finally Some Good News For Cubs Fans: Releases Top 100 Prospects List

byron buxton

by Frank Rhombus

Great news for Cubs, Astros, and Twins fans! Your teams are going to suck something fierce again this year, but according to’s Top 100 Prospects list, your future is looking a whole hell of a lot brighter than Vince Young’s.

Just Like David Freese, These Guys Were Worthless Turds Until The Postseason Rolled Around

david freese

by Tommy Gimler

For the sixth time since 2004, the St. Louis Cardinals are heading to the NLCS, due in large part to Adam Wainwright being the anti-Tony Romo and hurling a gutsy nine-inning gem last night that brought an end to Pittsburgh’s storybook season. But it was third baseman David Freese who once again got things rolling with a two-run bomb in the second inning that was all the offense the Redbirds would need.

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