Category Archives: Chicago Cubs

Somebody Blew Up A Condom At Miller Park And Threw It Onto The Field Today

brewers cubs condom

by Tommy Gimler

Funny. We didn’t think people in Wisconsin used protection.

Here’s A Preview Of Every NL Central Team In Two Sentences Or Less

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by Tommy Gimler

I have a better shot at fingering Kate Upton in the Tigers clubhouse than the Brewers do at finishing with a winning record this year.

Some Truly Remarkable Shit Went Down In Between The Cubs’ Last Two World Series Championships

cubs-world-series

by Tommy Gimler

Greatest. Game. Ever.

John Lackey Always Has Been, Still Is And Always Will Be A Gigantic Turd

john lackey sucks balls

by Tommy Gimler

All is right on the North Side today, as the beloved Chicago Cubs curb stomped the Los Angeles Dodgers 10-2 in Game 4 of the NLCS last night, knotting the series at two games apiece.

5 Bold Predictions For The 2016 World Series

2016-world-series

by Tommy Gimler

It’s been 19 years since that turd Jose Mesa couldn’t get three outs in the bottom of the ninth inning in Game 7 for the Tribe, and the last time the Cubs played in a World Series, all professional baseball players were white. Starting tonight, something’s gotta give.

The Cubs Got So Shithoused After Last Night’s Thrilling Win That One Of Them Fell Off The Bus This Morning

cubs player falls off bus

by Tommy Gimler

Thank God it wasn’t David Ross or he probably would have busted a hip.

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