All the Houston Astros posts:

Saturday Night Stat Dork

Published by tgim on May 18th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

14 MLB teams currently sport a record under .500 in this young 2013 season. And nobody celebrates futility like us. Well, nobody celebrates deplorable futility quite like Taylor Swift, but after her, it’s definitely us. Anyway, since we’re in Joliet, Illinois on a slow Saturday night and we’ve been advised by others to just stay behind our locked hotel room doors, we decided to look at each shitty team and pinpoint at least one shitty stat that has contributed to the team’s shittiness. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Houston Astros, LA Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Mets, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Philadelphia Phillies, San Diego Padres, Toronto Blue Jays
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Get The Shit Out Of Your Ears: Our First DUDcast

Published by tgim on April 3rd, 2013

by Tommy Gimler and Michael Louis

What do you get when you lock five sports fans and a comedian in a condo loaded with two bottles of Glenfiddich, eighteen Bud Lights, and a high-speed internet connection? Well, I guess it depends on which part of Los Angeles you live in. But in this case, we’re talking about our first podcast: The DUDcast. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Arizona Diamondbacks, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, DUDcast, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Oakland Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals
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DUD MLB Preview: The AL West

Published by tgim on March 31st, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

The American League West is like a group of five broads that you meet in Panama City on Spring Break. Three of the chicks are gorgeous, two of which have paid top dollar for their big fake breasticles, and one that is just as smart as she is sexy. The fourth one is  better than average, and in fact, with a little makeup, a sexy dress, and the right lighting, actually might be just as hot as the other ones. But then there’s always that 280-pound rhino with a birthmark that isn’t wearing jeans because there isn’t a pair on this planet that she can fit into. And just when you thought she couldn’t get any worse, you notice that she’s also missing a tooth. We’ll call her the Houston Astros. (more…)

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Posted in AL West, Houston Astros, LA Angels of Anaheim, MLB, Oakland Athletics, Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers
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2013 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out

Published by tgim on February 19th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

The Atlantis Casino in Reno might be as irrelevant as Mindy McCready’s life 364 days of the year, but for the last seven years, they have been the first sportsbook to release Major League Baseball’s over/under win totals. So for that, they can plow my sister. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Arizona Diamondbacks, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Mets, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Oakland Athletics, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Seattle Mariners, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals
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Which Number Will Be Greater, Mike Trout Stolen Bases Or Houston Astros Victories, And Other MLB Prop Bets For Your Ass

Published by tgim on February 11th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler and Jeffrey Leinenkugel

With pitchers and catchers for every MLB team set to report to Spring Training by tomorrow at the latest, we can finally stop talking about annoying offseason stories like tainted piss consultants, Mark Grace’s drinking problem, and the size of Scott Boras’s plums and instead focus on what is important like how pig shit awful the Houston Astros and Miami Marlins are going to be. And to do that, The DUD has come up with these entertaining prop bets to get you back in the mood for the game that is still more American than a school shooting. (more…)

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Posted in AL Central, AL East, AL West, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Colorado Rockies, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, LA Angels of Anaheim, Miami Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Yankees, NL Central, NL East, NL West, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays, Washington Nationals
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Craig Biggio Will Not Make The Hall of Fame On The First Ballot, And That’s A Damn Shame

Published by tgim on January 9th, 2013

by Tommy Gimler

Since 1962, every eligible member of the 3,000 hit club has been elected into Cooperstown on their first ballot except Rafael Palmeiro. But he was left out not because he’s an asshole who once plowed his teammate Ryne Sandberg’s wife, but because he’s a proven PED user. This year, Craig Biggio is up for the greatest honor the sport of baseball has to offer outside of nailing Marilyn Monroe, but sadly, according to the latest projections from various media outlets, Biggio will fall 4 to 5% short of the necessary 75% of the vote needed to get in, and that is a bigger tragedy than the band Train winning multiple Grammy Awards. Yup, Train won not one but multiple Grammy Awards. (more…)

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Posted in Houston Astros, MLB, NL Central
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