Category Archives: NL Central

John Lackey Always Has Been, Still Is And Always Will Be A Gigantic Turd

john lackey sucks balls

by Tommy Gimler

All is right on the North Side today, as the beloved Chicago Cubs curb stomped the Los Angeles Dodgers 10-2 in Game 4 of the NLCS last night, knotting the series at two games apiece.

The Cubs Got So Shithoused After Last Night’s Thrilling Win That One Of Them Fell Off The Bus This Morning

cubs player falls off bus

by Tommy Gimler

Thank God it wasn’t David Ross or he probably would have busted a hip.

Things Are So Good In Chicago These Days That Cubs Fans Are Making ‘We Don’t Suck Anymore’ Parody Songs

joey busse we don't suck anymore

by Tommy Gimler

Of course in true Cubs fan fashion, it was written and released during the regular season.

Jeremy Jeffress Pissed Himself This Morning

jeremy jeffress

by Frank Rhombus

I mean, I get why he felt the need to drive home after hitting the Henny hard, as there are only a few thousand Uber drivers in the greater Dallas area.

And Here We Have A Cubs Fan Getting Jerked Off During A Win Against The Brewers

cubs fan hand job

by Tommy Gimler

What an exciting year it’s been for the Chicago Cubs!

Cubs Fire Second String DJ After The Douche Plays ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ As Aroldis Chapman Leaves The Mound


by Tommy Gimler

I mean, what’s next, using “Two Pina Coladas” for Shin-Soo Choo’s walk-up music? Playing “Rock You Like A Hurricane” during Saints pregame drills a week or two after the next time New Orleans gets ravaged by a hurricane?

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