Category Archives: NL Central

2015 National League Win Total Over/Unders Are Out, You Hookers

papelbon

by Tommy Gimler

It’s 12 degrees in Milwaukee today, so odds are that any news about the boys of summer will be a welcome sight for those poor fuckers.

Ryan Braun Is Just An Average Player Without PEDs, And It’s Killing The Brewers

ryan braun average player without peds

by Frank Rhombus

Since beginning the 2014 season on a 17-7 tear, the Milwaukee Brewers have basically been a .500 ball club. Losers of 13 of 25 games since the All-Star break, Milwaukee has scored just 94 runs (3.76 per game), and one of the big reasons why is that outfielder Ryan Braun has been a worthless steaming pile of pig shit.

The Cleveland Indians Got Dicked Last Night By A Ball That Was Thrown Onto The Field By A Reds Pitcher

indians reds two balls on diamond

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. If you were still watching the Indians and Reds game last night instead of tuning into Mike Trout battle Clayton Kershaw in Los Angeles, then you’re either a liar or a fucking idiot. But in the bottom of the seventh inning and the Indians getting curb stomped to the tune of 6-1, any chance the Tribe had of mounting a comeback against Johnny Cueto vanished like your fat wife’s fart in the wind when someone in the Reds bullpen threw a ball onto the diamond and confused the hell out of everybody.

The Pittsburgh Pirates Front Office Once Again Shoves Their Fist Up Joe Pirates Fan’s Ass

dejected pirates fans

by Tommy Gimler

Sooner or later, the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to have to show their fans that they’re actually in the business of winning. And by sitting with their thumbs up their asses yet again today while teams around them proved to their fans that they are actually interested in bringing home a World Series title, the Pirates front office continued their long tradition of tolerating failure.

Jack White Is Probably The Scariest Looking Baseball Fan Of All-Time

jack white

by Tommy Gimler

Maybe if he wasn’t following such a dog shit team like the Cubs, Jack White would be just a tad on the happier side.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

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