Category Archives: NL Central

Boy, Carlos Gomez Is A Real Bag Of Shit

carlos gomez sucks

by Tommy Gimler

It turns out the Milwaukee Brewers could have traded Mike Fiers and Carlos Gomez to Houston for a Carlos Correa used condom last year, and they still would have made out on the deal.

So You Probably Don’t Want To Fuck This Guy

carlos-martinez

by Frank Rhombus

Being on the wrong end of a 6-1 curb stomping yesterday is probably the least of Carlos Martinez’s worries right now.

Thursday Night Was About As Good As It Gets For A Sports Night

jake arrieta no hitter

by Tommy Gimler

If you’re not a fan of double-overtime winners on the ice, no-hitters, or game-winning shots with time winding down in playoff basketball games, well, then you can just go fuck yourself.

Banning ‘Try Not To Suck’ Shirts At Busch Stadium Is Yet Another Reason Why The Cardinals Can Eat A Dick

try not to suck

by Tommy Gimler

The pussification of America continues.

If You’re Wondering If Jon Lester Can Throw To First Base, The Answer Is Still No

jon lester

by Frank Rhombus

Remember last year’s media circus surrounding the notion that Jon Lester couldn’t throw the ball over to first base?

The St. Louis Cardinals Look Old And Terrible

leake loses cardinals debut

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, the 2016 MLB season is younger than a girl Roman Polanski likes to rape, but the St. Louis Cardinals left a lot to be desired after getting swept in Pittsburgh to start the year.

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