Category Archives: Texas Rangers

Here Is Exactly How Every American League Team Will Finish In 2018

king felix

by Tommy Gimler

As long as King Felix’s arm doesn’t fall off in June, we think the Mariners might be something this year.

The Umpire Who Ejected Adrian Beltre For Moving The On-Deck Circle Can Eat A Dick

adrian beltre on deck circle

by Frank Rhombus

It’s only a game, Focker!

Here Are More Sam Dyson Hate Tweets Because Oh, Why Not?

sam dyson sucks

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest: I have a better shot of humping Kate Upton at Justin Verlander’s wedding than Sam Dyson does at closing out another Rangers game in a save situation this year.

So We’re Pretty Sure Texas Rangers Fans Are Sick Of Sam Dyson Blowing Games

sam dyson

by Tommy Gimler

Here’s one guy you won’t find on the list of guys who can plow my sister.

Just Checking In Annnnnnnd Carlos Gomez Is Still Fucking Garbage

carlos gomez sucks

by Frank Rhombus

If you’re into players who try to put the ball into the Disneyland parking lot on a 1-2 pitch but fail miserably every goddamn time, then boy, do we have the guy for you.

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

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