Category Archives: Seattle Mariners

Here Is Exactly How Every American League Team Will Finish In 2018

king felix

by Tommy Gimler

As long as King Felix’s arm doesn’t fall off in June, we think the Mariners might be something this year.

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

Texas Rangers Fan Celebrates Rougned Odor’s Walk-Off Home Run By Grabbing Some Tit On Live TV

rougned odor walk off home run boob grab

by Tommy Gimler

We should all be this happy at least three times a week.

One Guy Was More Excited About Robinson Cano’s Grand Slam Than Everybody Else

robinson cano grand slam double dicks

by Frank Rhombus

It looked like it was a real sausagefest at “The ‘Pen” inside Safeco Field last night, so if this guy would’ve wanted to celebrate with two actual dicks, it probably would’ve been doable.

Here Is Exactly How The AL West Will Finish in 2016

josh hamilton

by Rakesh the Intern

Listen, bro. It looks like in this division we have four teams who could make a run for AL West title and then the Angels.

2015 AL West Preview

cano hernandez

by Tommy Gimler

The Mariners might win the division, but it’s still Mike Trout who can plow my sister.

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