Category Archives: Oakland Athletics

Getting Hit In The Nuts With A Baseball Is Still Hysterical In 2015

stephen vogt hit in the balls

by Frank Rhombus

Well, unless of course they were your nuts.

2015 AL West Preview

cano hernandez

by Tommy Gimler

The Mariners might win the division, but it’s still Mike Trout who can plow my sister.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

Manny Machado Needs To Chill The Fuck Out

Manny Machado throws bat

by Tommy Gimler

To say that Manny Machado has a bright future in Major League Baseball is a bigger understatement than me saying I’d like to kiss Kate Upton, as everybody knows I would eat ravioli out of her asshole, and I hate pasta. But what Machado attempted today during the 11-1 ass pounding administered by the Oakland Athletics was almost as bush-league as your cousin saying he “accidentally” fingered your wife.

The Oakland Athletics Have Outscored Their Opponents By 118 Runs This Year

Detroit Tigers v Oakland Athletics

by Frank Rhombus

It’s official. The Oakland Athletics are fucking awesome. Again.

Josh Reddick’s New Walk-Up Song Is ‘Careless Whisper’ By Wham! And It’s Working

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by Tommy Gimler

Hitting just .214 with one home run and nine RBI heading into Monday’s home game against the Chicago White Sox, Oakland outfielder Josh Reddick probably would have jerked off a trio of homeless guys under an I-80 overpass if it was going to help him hit the baseball. Instead, he did the next gayest thing possible and changed his walk-up music to “Careless Whisper” by Wham! And son of a bitch, it’s actually working.

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