Category Archives: Houston Astros

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

Boy, Carlos Gomez Is A Real Bag Of Shit

carlos gomez sucks

by Tommy Gimler

It turns out the Milwaukee Brewers could have traded Mike Fiers and Carlos Gomez to Houston for a Carlos Correa used condom last year, and they still would have made out on the deal.

Here Is Exactly How The AL West Will Finish in 2016

josh hamilton

by Rakesh the Intern

Listen, bro. It looks like in this division we have four teams who could make a run for AL West title and then the Angels.

Here’s A Broad At The Astros Game Just Snorting Some Cocaine While Cheering For Her Team

girl doing blow at astros game

by Tommy Gimler

If you get off on watching videos of girls on the verge of losing their jobs, then this one should do the trick.

Evan Gattis Hit A Home Run With One Hand Last Night

evan gattis one hand home run

by Tommy Gimler

Unfortunately, the Texas Rangers figuratively jammed his bat up his and his Astros teammates’ assholes during their 14-3 curb stomping. Sideways.

Dallas Keuchel Tells Mike Fiers He’s ‘Gonna Get Some Pussy Tonight’ After He Throws A No-Hitter

mike fiers no hitter

by Tommy Gimler

For starters, if Mike Fiers – the same Mike Fiers who for the most part sucked major donkey dick when he donned a Brewers uniform – throws a no-hitter, then throwing a no-hitter in the big leagues is no longer relevant.

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