Category Archives: LA Angels of Anaheim

Mike Trout Blasts 489-Foot Home Run, Can Plow My Sister

Mike Trout 489-foot home run

by Tommy Gimler

It’s not very often as a heterosexual male that you watch another guy at his workplace, and after watching him do his job better than everybody else, you think to yourself, “My God. That guy could run a train on my sister’s asshole, and I wouldn’t even care. In fact, I encourage that behavior.” Well, that’s the way I feel after watching Mike Trout hit a 489-foot home run last night.

DUD MLB Preview: AL West Projected Standings

angels

by Tommy Gimler

The Angels have really dicked us the last two years, but not as much as the injury bug has dicked the rest of the AL West this year. There isn’t enough coke in the world to bring Ron Washington’s pitching staff back to life, Oakland has lost two of their big arms for a while, and most of Seattle’s pitching staff was worthless even when they were healthy. And Houston, well, hahahaha. Houston…

2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers

2014 Dodgers over under win total 93.5

by Tommy Gimler

The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with R. Kelly. Well, unless for some reason he doesn’t piss on you.

Finally Some Good News For Cubs Fans: MLB.com Releases Top 100 Prospects List

byron buxton

by Frank Rhombus

Great news for Cubs, Astros, and Twins fans! Your teams are going to suck something fierce again this year, but according to MLB.com’s Top 100 Prospects list, your future is looking a whole hell of a lot brighter than Vince Young’s.

Here’s How Our MLB Predictions Stood Up Against The “Experts”

indians

by Tommy Gimler

Let’s be honest. If you put your entire unborn child’s community college fund behind our MLB over/under predictions this year, you’re a fucking idiot. Now is as good of a time as any to remind you that most of this blog is written by a comedian who is addicted to sports and internet porn.

Who Are Baseball’s Best Young Players Plowing?

anne v

by Tommy Gimler

One of the negative side effects for MLB players who don’t make the All-Star Game is that they have to travel back home and sleep with their real wives or girlfriends, some of whom still haven’t repaired their goddamn stretch marks after crapping out a couple of kids. But that’s not an issue for these studs. Baseball’s best young players are doing exactly what you would expect them to: plowing hot pieces of ass…

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