Category Archives: AL West

When Someone Offers You $125 Million To Not Touch Booze Or Drugs For 5 Years And You Can’t Do It, Then You Officially Have A Problem

josh-hamilton-angels

by Tommy Gimler

Shit, for $125 million I’d give up plowing my wife for five years.

American League Win Total Over/Unders Are Out, Bro

new white sox

by Rakesh the Intern

Let me tell you something, bro. These American League win total over/unders this year are easier than my ex-girlfriend Akansh, and she was like biggest slut in Howrah, bro.

Finally, Craig Biggio Is Going To Be Enshrined In Cooperstown

Craig Biggio

by Tommy Gimler

It looks as though the members of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America (BBWAA) have finally pulled their heads out of their assholes and elected one of the great second basemen the game has ever seen to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Clayton Kershaw And Mike Trout Are Your MVPs, Can Plow My Sister

trout kershaw sister plow

by Tommy Gimler

Clayton Kershaw and Mike Trout were named the NL and AL Most Valuable Players today, cementing their #1 and #2 spots on the list of guys who can run a train on my sister.

Hey, The Astros Won’t Lose 100 Games This Year

altuve carter

by Tommy Gimler

Maybe it’s because they’ve taken advantage of former Rangers manager Ron Washington concentrating more on doing lines off of an Arlington hooker than putting together the best possible makeshift lineup. Maybe it’s because their three-foot-six second baseman leads all of baseball in batting average and hits. But whatever the reason, the Houston Astros will lose less than 100 games in a season for the first time since 2010.

Maybe This Is Also Why The Texas Rangers Suck

derek holland

by Tommy Gimler

We’ve said before that the injury bug hit the Texas Rangers harder this year than an eight-year-old Chinese kid who fucked up a pair of sneakers. But after reading what Derek Holland told a Dallas radio station yesterday, maybe there’s another reason why the Rangers’ 2014 season can be classified as pure dog shit.

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