Category Archives: Tampa Bay Rays

Only 974 People Showed Up To Watch The White Sox Lose To The Rays

white sox rays game

by Tommy Gimler

Roughly 9.5 million people live in the Chicago metro area, but only 0.01 percent of them decided to show up to Monday’s Rays-White Sox game at Guaranteed Rate Field.

Here Is Exactly How Every American League Team Will Finish In 2018

king felix

by Tommy Gimler

As long as King Felix’s arm doesn’t fall off in June, we think the Mariners might be something this year.

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

‘Rickie Weeks Pushing For Spot On Roster’ Is Horrific News If You’re A Tampa Bay Rays Fan

rickie weeks sucks

by Tommy Gimler

There are two things that are a certainty on this planet. One is that since they have a child together, one of my best friends has had sex with my sister at least once. The other? You guessed it: Rickie Weeks is a pig shit awful baseball player.

Hi, I’m Colby Rasmus And I Look Like This On Purpose

colby rasmus beard

by Tommy Gimler

If you were to tell us that Tampa Bay Rays outfielder is now celibate, we’d have no choice but to believe you.

Check Out This ‘Tribute’ Terry Francona Put Up On The Indians’ Scoreboard For Rays Manager Kevin Cash

kevin cash indians scoreboard

by Tommy Gimler

Wait, so you’re telling me there once was a player who was worse than Melvin Upton Jr.?

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