Category Archives: Baltimore Orioles

Kato Fucking Kaelin Won The 50/50 Raffle At Monday’s Brewers-Orioles Game

kato 50

by Tommy Gimler

“The money won’t go very far in L.A.” Yeah, unless you use it on something other than coke.

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

Steven Wright’s Knuckleball Was Kind Of Effective Today

steven wright knuckleball

by Tommy Gimler

Sometimes a knuckleball doesn’t knuckle and gets smoked 479 feet into the fourth-level bleachers where the people sitting there paid for their tickets by collecting soup labels.

2016 AL East Preview, Bro

chris archer hair

by Rakesh the Intern

I’ll tell you something, bro. This division is going to be closer than Uncle Akash was to Cousin Naveen, and Akash is now in prison as sex offender, my friend.

Cal Ripken Sure Knows How To Make You Feel Old

cal ripken streak

by Andy Ostroff

I’m not as old as Cal Ripken, Jr. Or am I?

The Orioles And White Sox Are Playing In An Empty Stadium Today

orioles white sox empty stadium

by Frank Rhombus

ESPN’s resident twat Tim Kurkjian said on SportsCenter today that things at Oriole Park at Camden Yards were “unbelievably quiet” this morning. Um, no shit. There’s nobody there, brah.

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