Category Archives: AL East

The Top 5 Broads Who Got Plowed By Derek Jeter

hannah davis

by Tommy Gimler

We received a couple of sexts after Derek Jeter hit a walk-off single to beat the Orioles tonight asking, “Could Derek Jeter have gone out any better than that?” The answer, of course, is yes. I mean, he could have gone out a World Series champion for Christ’s sake.

Andrew Rector Sues MLB & ESPN After Falling Asleep At A Game, Is A Big Pile Of Dog Shit

Andrew-Rector

by Frank Rhombus

If Andrew Rector’s fat ass thought the “verbal crusade” against him after he was caught by ESPN cameras napping at a Yankees-Red Sox game in April was unbearable, wait until he has someone read to him what’s being said after he filed what will likely be a dismissed lawsuit against MLB, ESPN, the New York Yankees, Dan Shulman, and John Kruk last Thursday.

Unacceptable Jerseys For True Baseball Fans – Volume 4

boggs tampa bay

by Tommy Gimler

It’s July 4th weekend, and you know what that means. Thousands of people will be flocking to a ballpark near you sporting a jersey with some turd’s name on the back of it who is probably logging more hours working a jackhammer these days than on a ball diamond. And with that in mind, our ten-part series of unacceptable jerseys for true baseball fans continues with the Yankees, Blue Jays, and Rays.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

The DUD MLB Midseason Awards: American League

Dillon Harper

by Tommy Gimler

If you had Baltimore’s Nelson Cruz tied atop the American League home run leaderboard and Houston’s Jose Altuve as the AL batting champ at the midway point, you’re a fucking liar. They’ve been a nicer surprise for their respective teams than sitting in sniffer’s row the night your best friend’s sister decides to give amateur night a whirl.

The Most Overpaid MLB Players Of 2014 So Far

bj upton sucks

by Tommy Gimler

You know B.J. Upton is going to make the list, but who else is going to join him on the podium of overpaid turds?

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