Category Archives: Minnesota Twins

The Problem With The Minnesota Twins Is That They’re Fucking Garbage

twins suck

by Tommy Gimler

The season might be younger than the Korean kid who makes my sneakers, but the Minnesota Twins are easily going to be the worst team in the American League this year.

2016 AL Central Preview, Bro

laroche and son

by Rakesh the Intern

Good thing they don’t let Cousin Deepak bring kids to work, bro. Dude has something like 8 or 9 kids, and he’s only something like 27, my friend. Potent, bro.

2015 AL Central Preview

cleveland indians

by Tommy Gimler

The Kansas City Royals damn near found a way to win the World Series last year despite manager Ned Yost’s best efforts to deliver their fans a big dick sandwich in the AL Wild Card Game. But if some Royals fans actually wanted a dick sandwich from Yost, then don’t worry because he has one on deck, and it’s called the 2015 regular season.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

The DUD MLB Midseason Awards: American League

Dillon Harper

by Tommy Gimler

If you had Baltimore’s Nelson Cruz tied atop the American League home run leaderboard and Houston’s Jose Altuve as the AL batting champ at the midway point, you’re a fucking liar. They’ve been a nicer surprise for their respective teams than sitting in sniffer’s row the night your best friend’s sister decides to give amateur night a whirl.

Unacceptable Jerseys For True Baseball Fans – Volume 3

White Sox Rangers Baseball Fight

by Teddy Westside

As a grown man, there are very few times you can actually wear a jersey and not look like a total fucktard. I still don’t know why or how the act of dressing up like someone else is acceptable for sports fans, but those same meathead jock asswipes degrade people like this for dressing up like their favorite person…

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