Category Archives: Minnesota Twins

I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish

terry francona indians

by Frank Rhombus

If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year.

And Here’s A Kid At The Twins-Rangers Game Using His Sunglasses To Pick His Nose And Eat It

kid picks nose at twins rangers game

by Tommy Gimler

Hey, 50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose. 50 bucks more says he eats it. You’re on.

The Problem With The Minnesota Twins Is That They’re Fucking Garbage

twins suck

by Tommy Gimler

The season might be younger than the Korean kid who makes my sneakers, but the Minnesota Twins are easily going to be the worst team in the American League this year.

2016 AL Central Preview, Bro

laroche and son

by Rakesh the Intern

Good thing they don’t let Cousin Deepak bring kids to work, bro. Dude has something like 8 or 9 kids, and he’s only something like 27, my friend. Potent, bro.

2015 AL Central Preview

cleveland indians

by Tommy Gimler

The Kansas City Royals damn near found a way to win the World Series last year despite manager Ned Yost’s best efforts to deliver their fans a big dick sandwich in the AL Wild Card Game. But if some Royals fans actually wanted a dick sandwich from Yost, then don’t worry because he has one on deck, and it’s called the 2015 regular season.

The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams

brewers walk off

by Tommy Gimler

Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in St. Petersburg nursing homes haven’t had a chance to catch any Tampa Bay Rays games yet, they should just take a look in their diapers to see what their team has been playing like.

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