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Category Archives: Kansas City Royals

The Brewers Just Got Absolutely Dicked By The Royals: A Mike Moustakas Story

July 27, 2018 AL Central, Crap, Kansas City Royals, Milwaukee Brewers, MLB, NL Central No comments

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by Tommy Gimler

Two months of a .250 hitter in exchange for a five-tool future stud and a Puerto Rican kid? Fuck me.

This Winner Broke Into A Royals Pitcher’s House And Claimed She Was Engaged To Elon Musk

June 28, 2018 AL Central, Crap, Kansas City Royals, MLB No comments

by Frank Rhombus

If that is indeed the case, it’s safe to say that Elon Musk is slumming.

Here Is Exactly How Every American League Team Will Finish In 2018

March 29, 2018 AL Central, AL East, AL West, Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Crap, Detroit Tigers, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals, LA Angels of Anaheim, Minnesota Twins, MLB, New York Yankees, Oakland Athletics, Seattle Mariners, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Toronto Blue Jays No comments

by Tommy Gimler

As long as King Felix’s arm doesn’t fall off in June, we think the Mariners might be something this year.

These Royals Players Look Ecstatic About Having To Sit Through An Anti-Porn Presentation

March 9, 2018 AL Central, Crap, Kansas City Royals, MLB No comments

by Tommy Gimler

What a waste of time! Just like studying 19th century French poetry in college.

Ned Yost Falls Out Of Tree, Proves There Just Might Be A God

November 10, 2017 AL Central, Crap, Kansas City Royals, MLB No comments

by Frank Rhombus

Christmas came early for Brewers fans who are still butthurt over the way Ned Yost mismanaged the 2007 and 2008 Milwaukee Brewers.

Danny Duffy Orders Combo Meal And Burgers At Burger King Drive Thru, Passes Out, Gets DUI

August 31, 2017 AL Central, Crap, Kansas City Royals, MLB No comments

by Tommy Gimler

We were waiting for a mugshot to appear before writing up this gem, and while that hasn’t happened, this picture of him having to explain to reporters why a guy making $5 million isn’t using a car service and is still eating dinner at Burger King will do just fine.